I'm slightly disappointed there was no steamy love scene between Abe and Mary Todd- who would of course be played by Megan Fox.

That was made into a movie? So glad I missed it.

It's okay, I was having a ball over here imagining a pack of sullen boys in navy dresses plodding into the school while their female classmates laughed away. Where is THAT school and how can I get my kid to go there!?

"Bally dancing is the most filthy trash on earth. Plays and theatre performances are nothing but whore shows. Get right with God America!!!"

So what were the boys allowed to wear if not trousers, pleated skirts?

That makes a lot of sense, thank you for explaining. It makes me sad to think about how many people feel starved for physical contact.

I had my first ever professional massage today.

At this rate, I'll need to upgrade to Depends. Or at least one of those giant Poise pads to soak up my lady love juices. *drools at Jackman*

Could Hugh Jackman get any more perfect? Pardon me, I need to go wring out my panties.

It's a keeper, all right. And strangely mesmerizing.

It's a photo manip, but it would be awesome if it really did. Came out right after Osama was killed.

So so hearted. And so tired of the manic pixie dream girl trope.

I miss badass Obama.

Home Alone (with a bag of cocaine). Ba-dum-tissss!

Oh my god. I totally thought that was Miley Cyrus in the header picture, not Beyonce. I didn't recgonize our girl B right away at all. Brb, getting my eyes checked.

Apparently there are no penisus (penii?) on the Puppetry of the Penis website. They're all blacked out or obscured. Now I'm all disappointed because I didn't get to see cocks twisted into weird shapes.

I think Oprah had one when she was 14, but not sure. She's against it now though, so she's not the best example.

Good for her, and good for her parents.

Ahh I remember my 2nd grade crush vividly. His name was Zane and he had dimples and one of those cute mushroom haircuts. Everyday at lunch, he would walk past, smile, and put his change on my tray. Seven years old and already I was a whore... *sigh*

Funny thing is, I don't find him attractive at all. Physically, at least. He's so goshdarn cute though, I just want to pinch his cheeks and give him pink bellies! And then he'll go and say something that reminds me that he's a sexual being. And I feel positively filthy. Because I kind of want to schtup Harry Potter.