Where is this wonderful place and how do I live there? Yes, I know some people think dolphins are the assholes of the sea, but I wouldn't mind sprouting fins and joining a pod.

I was having a pretty crap day til I saw this amazing gif. Sharing the joy.

The gravel and grass clippings only add texture and flavor. But I commend you for your forgiving nature. I'm afraid that if I were married and my husband cheated on me, I might crank up the lawnmower and go all Dead Alive on them.

A sadist, that's who. Or someone who was just very tired of teaching for the year and wanted to pop in a tape instead of doing their job. I've seen Doug's First Movie more times than I care to admit.

Oh I thought for sure this would be about "The Snowman." Or "The Velveteen Bunny." Two short films teachers insisted on showing every year shortly before summer break that I believe contributed to my depressive personality.

Russians certainly have a fascination with putting cats in space. Watch the video if you've ever been curious about what a cat would look like in zero gravity. It confuses their "righting reflex" so they spin around like whirling dervishes.

Yes please! I want so badly to nibble on those ears. Om nom nom nom.

Where is that picture from? From the front page it kinda looked like Carrie Fisher and Mark Hamil from Star Wars and I was intrigued enough to click.

Ahh, make the scariness go away! THIS is how you do happy snake.

I prefer ballgags. They're especially effective on crying babies. So annoying, ammiright?

Only 50%? In a 12-month period? Really? I thought we estimated this was more like 90% at one time. Or even higher." I get leered at or catcalled every time I leave the house. It doesn't matter what I look like - even if I'm sporting a snotty nose and shivering nonstop from the flu as I pick up my medicine from…

D'aww she threw up for her baby. Now that's love. I want a fluffy little eaglet.

From my spank bank to yours <3

Seriously, there needs to be a law that he's at least 70% naked at all time.

Want more?

I think the universe is telling me something. And it's that I'm meant to have babies with Ryan Kwanten. I don't even *want* babies. But for him, I'd gladly make an exception.

Squee! He's like "cook me for dinner, mom." I love people's cat pictures, your baby has the biggest green eyes. I just want to pick him up and snuggle him like crazy.

So do I. I woke up this morning and there was 3 inches of snow on the ground. Also, April Fool's Day seems an excuse for people to act like assholes merely for the sake of acting like assholes.

Shitstorm in 3...2...1...

More importantly, why does Madonna seem to be morphing into Jennifer Coolidge?