Assholes. Now Geno’s got to hunt around northern New Jersey looking for a giant ATM.

We need this tornado of granite fists and shattered emotions inside of our sweat lodge. We must keep our players on their toes. I want this maniac to punch everyone’s lights out until someone stops his thunder fist in mid swing by gently whispering “No more, for I am the leadership king and my plan is to win the…

Messi plays for 4 teams in 7 leagues. The soccer super bowl is October 19th between two of messi’s teams. He will play for both sides

Player: Hello Coach Chip, how are you today?

DeSean Jackson (shoulder) did not speak to reporters as he left field after practice.

I see you’ve overlooked my classic, “Fishsticks that you put in an oven that was too hot and then blacked out and woke up thinking you set your house on fire (I’m never drinking again).”

It’s pretty much a staple in my house.

Spoiler alert:

According to Steely Dan, Katy Lied.

It’s all applesauce. I tried to rip a goose route down the gullet of the trench and he just put ham on my bannister. I’d had enough and I let my ancestors control my fists. The rest is history. We all covered our perfect bodies in exotic oils in the locker room and achieved many physical and spiritual orgasms while…

this person comes around once in a blue moon

The best thing about Arbys is Nihilist Arbys

Wait, are you defending the Mets or just insulting the Brewers?

But then he would have a red flag, so he wouldn’t be red flagged for not having any red flags anymore, so that red flag would be rendered moot, which would mean he would have no red flags, which would be a red flag, which would mean his lack of red flags wasn’t a red flag anymore, which would take away his red flag,…

Best new “sports game” ROCKET LEAGUEEEEEE!!!!

Shane was a very underrated part of the recent great Phillies era. In addition to the grand slam off of Sabathia there was :

Uh, what? When have I ever endorsed British colonialism? Colonialists can get fucked, too.

I’m not one to trumpet Intangibles and Scrappy Factors and He Just Plays The Game The Way It’s Supposed To Be Played bullcrap; numbers don’t lie. But.... the Sox offense was just different when Victorino was in the lineup, even when he wasn’t producing tangible WAR results. I don’t know what it was.