Well done, sir.....well done. Now I have to pick my skull up off the floor from my head exploding.

Lamb of Heaven be within your eternal gut, friend.

I used to play pretty seriously. The rules are simple. The main goal is to achieve “The Queen’s Errand,” or have the most netted balls by the end of the crow’s watch. If the pepper is placed in your path, you have to wheel the cranberry using only the poetic side of your bike. The lines on the court indicate the…

“ Put on a show while I go fill your mom with dick nectar”

Simmons, Olbermann, Cowherd - ESPN Departes

Tiger’s inner monologue:

Amy Schumer falls into the sometimes hot / sometimes not category where I find Emma Stone and Anna Kendrick. Just something about that face. It reminds me of Miss Piggy from the Muppets movies I used to watch as a kid.

I like this, I like it a lot. Whenever people ask me what I’ll do if I eventually regret my tattoo I say, “Look, I have all kinds of marks on my body that I didn’t ask for and I don’t like. I have scars, I have stretch marks, funny freckles, weird bumps, whatever. Those are all permanent too. I CHOOSE my tattoo, and I…

“Hey, collusions are part of the game. That’s why we wear helmets.”
- Emmitt Smith

Or as ESPN puts it on their front page: “Source: Union to cry collusion if WRs don’t sign”.

Yeah, in no way are they in bed with the NFL. Nope.

Isn’t the Tour de France on tomorrow? So this isn’t even correct, prima facie.

At this point there are probably uncontacted tribes deep in the amazon who have on the walls of their crude huts, pictograms showing a pair of people in evening wear being gunned down while their son watches in horror. Right next to the pictograms of a teenager boy with a spider mask in his pocket letting an armed…

This makes me happy

But what do you do when the officer administers the Field Smugness Test?

C’mon. Dallas’s new uniforms aren’t that bad.

Deadliest Catcher

Clearly, the approximate 8,000 daily calories consumed by a Tour de France rider are spread out