Only one way to find out.

I’m his ghostwriter.

Thanks Tom. Anyone else want some?!

Cornhole bags should be filled with pistachios so after you’re done playing, you can carry the bag around and eat the cracked pistachios at your leisure. I will fight you on the merits of this idea.

You alright there, Margie?

2 days ago I opened my Instagram and it was logged out. It said that someone in Russia tried to log into my account. Nothing was changed and I don’t know if they were successful but I think everything is okay. I was paranoid for the rest of the day. I finally saw that they put the 2-factor in so it was weird timing.

I find their lack of honey disturbing.

Someone bought Lycoming County mall this past year and if you’re wondering where Lycoming County is then you’ve proved why this was a bad purchase.

When I first learned to play guitar I would go to the library and borrow his greatest hits cd and learn his songs from that. I even did a report on him for Black History Month in 6th grade and played Maybellene for my class. For 2 whole minutes a fat, awkward and sweaty 6th grader was even more sweaty and awkward.

I have no Mouth and I must Scream

Police hats are so dumb looking.

We knew he’d be a nightmare when he took his oat of office.

Not A’s related but one of my favorite baseball stories of all time is Disco Demolition Night in Cominskey Park. What are your thoughts on the event?

I can’t masturbate to porn with my healthcare plan sir....can I?

Is there an age restriction on clear rimmed glasses?

Huh. And to think we were building a wall and detaining foreigners to stop terrorists. The call was coming from inside the house all along!

I wish Franken was a Wisconsin Senator because the Joseph McCarthy irony would be so sweet that I’d have the diabeetus.

Can they be history books that are casually left back in 2014 by a plucky high schooler and a weird mad scientist?

I just grammar policed someone in this very thread.