I’ve never seen Paul Stanley and Yama-Uba in the same room together. Their resemblance has me asking questions.

Bear all day!

With all of this gorilla death going on, I feel the need to reignite the real question in all of this. Who would win in a fight, Silverback Gorilla vs. Grizzly Bear? Fight takes place on neutral ground.

We’ve finally got it! The Sword of a Thousand Truths.

I once knew a guy who did. He was killed by a stingray though.

George Garvin, “My man Dwyane Wade. You got this. You Cool!”

Can you imagine how much Gatorade you could get out of that thing?!

The lord is your shepherd, you shall not dunk.

I know different types of gates too. Flood gate! Bump Gate! Kissing Gate! Electric Gate! Airport Gates! Need I go on?

In the Big Ol’ Hot Take Mountains
All the takes are fiery red
And my Twitter feed gets filled with shit
By writers with sagging skin

Bunk, The duck from season 2, Omar, Bunk’s suits, Marcia Donnelly

I motion that someone puts the “Oh yes! It is out!” audio with the NFL combine video of the Chris Jones’s dick unfurling from his pants.

How many times has this happened to them? Or how many games have they lost within the last 30 seconds?

I was almost sympathetic when I saw the crowd behind him.

“Fuck off with that helmet, dog. Don’t you see me vibin over here?”

Does nobody remember the Shoe Roast of 2015?!

This story is bologna. I refuse to believe any human being had the balls to talk back to Brian Scalabrine.

Let’s play America’s favorite game of, “What asshole said it?” What asshole said, “Thats what you fucking get!” after watching his opponent detrimentally hit. Was it A) Stone Cold Steve Austin, B)Any bully in any 80’s movie, C)Dez Bryant.

Whenever I hear Mike Greenberg say, “Up next is First Take” my asshole clenches tighter than Richard Sherman’s stomach after eating Oberto’s Beef Jerky.