Combat Life Saver is still a 5-day course, isn't it?

I suspect as much. Okay, try this: read that post about being a volunteer at a running event out loud, and tell me you don't sound like Batman.

Get off the cross. No one's forcing you to tip, are they? You don't have to pay one precious cent more than the price on the bill, if that's your style. Just accept that you have a different perspective than a lot of people.

You're one of those guys who dresses up in a homemade superhero costume and patrols the streets, aren't you?

Jesus H. Christ on a Club Sandwich with Extra Bacon....maybe you and your new buddy could go out for drinks and not tip; or just perch together on the ledge of a tall building, keeping watch over the unsuspecting and ungrateful City, brooding about how no one understands or respects the responsibility and sheer…

Nah, I never claimed to be a hero. That's your gig. But I'm curious, when you're on the job, does the driver activate the siren to run codes, or do they just use your incessant caterwauling?

True, I may be an insulting, condescending prick. But I can use apostrophes and punctuation, and I don't throw hissy fits because people aren't treating me like a 9/11 First Responder. To each his own...

At first, I thought your paranoia about bodily fluids in your food was laughable, but after seeing your incredibly self-serving, self-absorbed, self-absorbed whining, I have to admit, I'd be tempted to spit in your food myself. Although, I've never been a server...but, shit, I'd do it if I was sitting at the next…

Hey, CopSucker...how many officers pull vehicles over (even in a properly marked car) by driving directly beside them?

Actually, the rest of us were talking about the work servers do, and whether tipping is warranted, especially since it's factored into their (usually) below-minimum wages. You had to come in, screeching about your own job, and how it relates (it doesn't). It's not our fault you're not getting the adulation you wanted…

Nah, don't sweat it. People like me tip a little extra to counteract people like you. I mean, sure, it costs a little more, but you can't really put a price on not being an insufferable D-bag.

You know, people might be more impressed with your job if you...I dunno...stopped bleating about it all the time.

So that's what an entitled, oblivious, self-satisfied twit looks like.....

And it's not like he could say these things out loud, with other people around...

I know, right? Hey, I'll make you a deal...if you guys could just..y'know... dial back on the rapey shit a little bit, I'll bet those doggone womenz (and us guys who don't look at them with a mixture of fear and hostility) might not be so gosh-darned hysterical about it! Whaddaya say, pal? Are you man enough?

You got any factual basis for that, other than your own monumental butt-hurt?

There was an episode of NewsRadio where they actually referenced Suddenly Susan ripping off the character (Season 3, ep 19... I did the Googles), where Lewis does a spot-on impression of Kathy Griffin.

It's no so much advertising as it is pointing out that there's dog shit on the sidewalk. The article isn't saying, "Hey, look at that dog shit, you should take it home", it's saying, "Look, there's dog shit". If someone wants to pick it up and take it home, that's their business.

Of course they're skinny, they're linguinies!

I heard if you dump some butter on them, they become Bulletproof Lingiunies.