cock-blocktopus made me snort tea out of my nose

Netflix is KILLING it with their original content these days. I'll watch it. He's hot.

I heard that a blind man once asked Bobby Bowden to bestow his blessings upon him, and Bobby just laid on hands — and lo, the man could see now. Amen.

RAGE. Careful not to be rage-filled. It offends the rape apologists.

Me too, actually. I think that's why it's so disturbing that we are met with doubt. I might call my friend and say, "Um I think I got robbed" and be totally validated: "Is your shit missing? Yeah, you got robbed." To have something as horrific as being sexually assaulted happen, to doubt yourself (which you do because…

Yes, I once went to a sexual assault seminar and a speaker said just this: rape is the only crime that happens where, when you tell someone, their first reaction is usually, "Okay, was it really rape/did that really happen?" Can you imagine telling someone your house was robbed and they say, "Mmm yeah, that doesn't…

I heard an interview on Sports Radio the other day with some commentator from your neck of the woods in which they were talking about how this whole experience was one that was going to build trust between Winston and teammates.

How responsible of them to wait a year to interview witnesses. It seems that this case never had a chance with that kind of shoddy investigation. Shameful.

I thought that "moves like Jagger" lyric was "moose vagina" for MONTHS.

Eddie Vedder is a special category. Every single thing he has ever sung is misheard to me. I thought nobody could top Mick Jagger, but I was wrong!

Page Six, I will never pick up your drivel. Absolutely no one believes all of this hooplah about Nigella being a coke fiend, because we all know her to be a cake fiend.

That still isn't HALF as weird as that elf that spies on your family. My god, is that creepy. If you told me I'd have to give you $7k or take an elf for free, I'd fork over the $7k.

Best parts... Billy turning on a dime when he realized he had approached a Hasidic Jewish man. Amy yelling "You know me!" all crazy at the dude at the end. Good stuff.

"Not dealing with that bullshit name!" was the most hilarious line here. And the fact that people kept being like "Oh wow, it really is Amy Poehler!"

Man, where was this article during the TEN YEARS I made myself believe that the bi-polar libertarian Yankees fan was the love of my life because he challenged me?

I came for the gifs. I was not disappointed.

OH GOD it's like that episode of Nip/Tuck with Mrs. Claus!! That shit gave me nightmares.. I still sometimes wonder if maybe.... /looksdown

Kim Kardashian's body has returned to her. No longer shall her intangible consciousness float around helplessly, searching in vain for its corporeal form.

Oh you don't feel like you've committed a crime? Just as well you were arrested in the United States of Fee-fee. You're free to go, you little rapscallion.