The Washington Gedde Watanabes

A high school team in Freeport, IL is called the Freeport Pretzels. Freeport was known for two things around the turn of the 20th century. A big German immigrant population in the city with lots of German-run breweries, and a large bakery supplying pretzels to all of the bars and breweries (and eventually distributing…

“What would you call that?”

Mass Dumb-shitery

That’s actually pretty unique among lobotomy patients. Apparently a majority of patients who had been regular churchgoers prior to their lobotomy completely stopped after the surgery. 

I’ve seen a few people suggest they change it to Lady America to double down on fans in the flag-humper demographics and there are worse ideas.

“spend your life indoors encased in bubble wrap”

That’s how Rosemary Kennedy managed to live well into her 80s. 

Crash is a very shallow film that was assembled in a competent manner. Paul Haggis is genuinely kind of a dummy. His appearance in the Going Clear documentary was almost impressive in its lack of vanity. His interview segments made very obvious how small of a role basic elements of critical thinking had played in his…

Turns out repeating a billionaire’s public statements is bullying. I never would have guessed. 

Paul Haggis who wrote and directed Crash? I’m not sure that’s a reasonable example of an intelligent person.

I know. My point is that I’m annoyed that his now known shittiness seems to make people retroactively think their lazy joke was clever when it should have been relegated to the same category as the dumbasses who yell “Freebird” at every rock show. 

The fourth or fifth worst thing about finding out that Ryan Adams is a piece of shit sex pest is that it’s lead people who make that Summer of 69 joke to feel like they’re clever.

Duh. No one genuinely defends Yanni from poop jokes or passing association with wannabe-fascists.

There’s more than one Greek man named Yanni in the world. No disrespect to mustache keyboard Yanni was intended or conveyed. 

I just said it the one time. I know the rules. 

Of course you would. Proper nouns aren’t allowed in Scrabble. 

Milo Yannipoopolous?

Did you know he’s also the lead in Mindhunter? 

I was going to joke that he was busy driving his ice cream truck to Stonehenge, but it turns out he just had a baby and has a growing career in real estate investment. I guess Ron is a grown up now. 

Don’t worry. I took a poll at my last regional White People meeting and they said it was okay.

The foosball episode was in season 3 and the actress’s name is Yvette.