Citing widespread flooding in the state of Texas, the NFL reasoned it could not deprive Dallas of its navel attack.

I’m not great at analyzing the numbers on this kind of deal, but I have to assume Fertitta got screwed because the team is already underwater!

I’m just glad the Red Sox defense didn’t do that unfair play where they record two outs on one play. That would have sent Sabathia through the roof of the dugout. Well, halfway through, but you know.

Colin Kaepernick doesn’t have a job because he won’t stand.

“I don’t know about this, IT’s hip is messed up and the Celtics mostly lost to us by Kyrie going right at Thomas”
“They threw in a 2020 D leaguer”!

Anecdotally, watching porn at least appears to lead to overreactions in the comments section of Deadspin.

Beat Your Meat, Not Your Wife

Minivan owners.

The Patriots have just signed Shitty Tiny White Receiver Your Team Drafted in the Seventh Round Five Years Ago to a deal. He’ll be an All-Pro this year.

The suspicion started once the player, holding triple match point in the eventual 0-6 7-5 6-0 match, yelled out, “oh shit, I was supposed to lose this match” and then double-faulted 24 times.

Judging from that hairline he has good knowledge of fucked up clippers.

I’m still trying to figure out whether they’re blue burqas with black hijabs or white burqas with gold hijabs.

Look, I’m the least racist person there is, but would you want your daughter marrying one of these bus seats? Some sort of lesbian polyester bus-human sin fest? Think of the bus-human mixed-race surrogate hijab terror children.

“I see a yellow car and I want to paint it black...”

I think I know what team Kyrie’s hoping to play with.

Is this the Zach Hample origin story?

This seems to me LeBron just showing his power. “You will not trade me, I am not a pawn”. He would rather have a bad season than give up a modicum of control. He has been working to gain that power his whole career and he won’t allow terms dictated to him. I respect it.

If he’s just looking for a cash grab, he could create the Big Beller brand.

“Fuck Comic Sans, I am going full dingbats with this one” -Right arrow, checkmark, star Circle, airplane, pencil, scissors, snowflake, heart

Excited to find out what font Dan Gilbert’s using these days!