Every resident of Seattle would suck Vivek Ranidive’s little brown balls for a year straight if he moved the Kings to Seattle. Russell Wilson would do it just cuz.

[cums]

Is Wall upset about the hole in the wall? Will Wall help fix wall? Wall wishes wall well.

Finally!

Get used to it. Starting tomorrow, all sorts of regulations are going to be ignored, especially when Washington is involved.

And the moment I wrote, I realized that Houston was seeded lower than Pittsburg, which would mean that Houston might instead be playing NE. So they might actually instead relive a painful memory from earlier this season.

Yeah, I hate it when teams smartly fill a depleted position by acquiring veteran talent in exchange for future assets, too.

KD might want to wear a cup at their next practice.

Tennis player routinely go out for a sandwich in between serves.

Annexation of Crimea- kinesiology!

Maybe the officials were gay.

“We should round up all the refs, send them to an island, and then nuke it until it glows.”

It’s pre-All Star Break basketball. Let’s temper those expectations.

Of course they can do it so fast, what with all the experience dealing with Godzilla.

They are single issue voters fans - abortion immigration wins

“That’s not a crime, that’s TEAMWORK!!”

Is there some alternate universe where we can just have Baylor play Penn State 12 times every season and the rest of us can root for a tornado to hit the stadium?

News like this is so tiring. As a rape survivor, all I can wonder is when are people going to start to care? This changes our lives so dramatically for the worse. How can we make the average person care about our struggle?

Can confirm: Cats hate getting stuck in bathtubs.

Taft was just a bunch of alien cats in a jacket.