“This is going to look great in my scrapbook!”

Dwyane Wade: (Signs contract)

Bread gets turnt up in my toaster.

Thanks, Deadspin, but we already know that Indians always win the Spelling Bees

*Looks at Poulter’s picture*

All the close up ball angles where you have no idea if it's getting further away or closer to the hole are a nice touch.

The graphics game around here today is nearing LeBron levels.

Oh. OHHH.

Sometimes a rolled up hundred dollar bill just isn’t fancy enough.

..Maybe they were summoning some sort of.. Math..Demon.

My dad has them in all the bathrooms in his house. I kinda like the way they look. Maybe I just got used to looking at them because of my parents.

In college, one of the on-campus cafes made breakfast burritos with Tater Tots. Holy crap they were magical. And the Mexicans working there made the best salsa for them. Best ever.

A few things:

You know, I thought there was something timely about me reaching into my closet to get the broom.

Just for funsies:

Only the good die young. If you need proof, my mother-in-law is still ticking

That illustration is amazing.

Da Bird is pretty magnificent

Please supervise your kitty when playing with hair ties! That's a very common item to cause intestinal obstruction (generally it's multiple ties forming a wad of hairy grossness in the GI tract). Most cats don't actually eat them, but I've seen it happen enough times that it tends to worry me.