Okay, this is going to be wordy so settle in.

“Who?” - DJT

Crew Cab F-150 with a 5 inch lift and Aftermarket Exhaust Gaines.

It’s like “A Tribe Called Quest” you have to say the whole thing.

You’re not an only child. I crunched the numbers for you.

Matt McConaughey said that time is a flat circle. So that means that if Emmie is 10 and Crew is 1, then in 4 years, Emmie will be 17 and Crew will be an oblate spheroid. That's, like, physics. 

For those wondering, Crew is short for Crewstopher.

“She will be cremated with a topping of French’s crispy deef-fried onions” said one family member.

You should bitch-slap your dad and pee on him to assert dominance.

I’m just so disappointed that this article didn’t begin “Avril Lavigne isn’t dead--she’s born again.” It was RIGHT THERE! 

THE LADIES OF THE VIEW R MEAN POOP FACES! SAD!

I got a Presidential Emergency Alert for THIS???

I love these every year and never had anything creepy happen to me spiritually. I’m pretty open about those things, I feel spirits sometimes, but they leave me alone.

WHEN YOUR LOVED ONE CREATES THE GHOST

So this happened to me quite some time ago (almost 20 years, wow I feel old!), but I still remember details to this day.

I was late last year and submitted after the cut off. Here we go!

And now that I’ve told my friend’s story, I’ll tell mine, which happened this year.

Bad tinder date: Guy did not tell me he was legally blind (not important but is relevant to this next part), so, as a result, he informed he needed to sit VERY close to my face so he could see me WHILE HE HAD THE FLU. So here is this guy, sitting intentionally close to my face, while he has the plague, coughing and…

Lauren,

Seriously, you can’t just be passive in your murder attempts. The sullen glaring ain’t  getting the job done!

$130,000.