I just can’t hate on Robert Pattinson. Sure, the Twilight movies were utter garbage, but who can blame a dude who’s had like three small roles and then gets offered millions? Every time I see him speak he’s pretty honest about the fact that he lucked into an entire career. He doesn’t come off as playing the false…

I gave the young daughter of a frenemy a battery-operated toy dog that, when pushed in the tummy area, played “Who Let the Dogs Out” repeatedly and incessantly.  Needless to say this was unsubtle payback for an untold number of slights.

They’re saying Boo-urns.

Okay but, the whole “trembling brainpan” thing... See, in order for your brainpan to actually tremble, you know, by itself, plausibly, it would really need to be a much less integral or foundational part of your physical manifestation - like a pinkie, or an earlobe. Because if your actual brainpan were to actually…

How could you not post the actual video for “And THAT, Marjorie, just so you will know, and your CHILDREN will someday know, is the NIGHT. THE LIGHTS. WENT OUT IN. GEORGIA!!!” ????

I don’t know who designed these women but they need to go back to the drawing board.

It would be great if they actually were “using their business mediums"-  if each had a psychic on staff to divine some revenge upon the other. 

so Faye was..Dunaway-with?

Time for something a wee bit more architectural. Hands up if you’ve ever heard of Kelvingrove Art Gallery and Museum? No? Didn’t think so. Well, Kelvingrove is one of Scotland’s best-loved museums (and mine too). And it unsurprisingly has it’s own urban legend.

Another one that I was thinking of whilst preparing breakfast (sausages, eggs, proper bacon and not that laminated shite you Americans seem to love, with toast)...

Yyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeessssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss! A thread I can contribute multiple stories to!

I do, however, have an urban legend from my birth location (lived there six months, it counts as a home town, yeah?) Anyway. So, this is a swampy area along the south-eastern seaboard of the U.S. A place not exactly friendly to locals, with roads overrun with sand blown off the coast and crabgrass, with roads overhung…

And when you’re not using it it comes with a Polo™ “shirt” cover available in a wide range of colors.

The only drawback is like a real Chad’s ego, it takes a lot of work to deflate.

Acne Awareness Month? Zit just got real.

I don’t fucking care. And you know why? Because just yesterday McConnell stated with a snarky laugh that should a seat open up on the Supreme Court next year he will ignore what he said when Obama appointed Merrick Garland and jam someone through. The Right has been weaponizing the courts for years while we Dems and…

more like kit lackofharington, amirite?

Yeah, that’s no weirdly 70's fireplace. That’s going to be a late 1800's-early 1900's Arts and Crafts movement ceramic studio piece (or at least the central tile frieze of a ship at sale is, not sure about the rest of the surround). A la Rookwood or other American studios making ceramic tiles, ceramic housewares, and…

Poor Larry. Everyone forgets he’s also a Hemsworth brother.

It was my first Tinder date, and in Europe. I was 29, he was 39. After a long, long night of drinking, weed, cocaine, we finally go to my Airbnb—an extremely tiny studio. The guy passes out immediately. Meanwhile, I can’t sleep because I need to poop. Badly. I knew this would be a very explosive and smelly one. I had…