My mistake only one arrest. He had bite marks and a bloody nose. Isn’t that enough?

I woke up to one crawling on my arm, and moved into my daughters room. My husband said those were the best weeks of his life. Arrgghhh I’m itchy.

I did that but I was covered in red ants and I’m allergic to all bug bites. My husband was trying to swat them off of me as I ran screaming along a street with no shirt on. A passerby called the police.

He caused problems wherever he went here in Las Vegas. He would pull out the “Don’t you know who I am” card! My brother in law said no, but I know who your daughter is.

All I could think of is We are the Millers and Nancy Drew that I have known she has been in.

Having a travel agent will save your ass in a pinch. Nobody in a call center gives a shit if you have problems with an airline or a room, a travel agent with relationships with properties and airlines will. I always used my mother’s travel agent and she never steered me wrong.

Political Science major here, not judge I only had to take one math class! That’s what these assholes pray upon, the fact that people are to ignorant to know what is in the Constitution and our system of checks and balances.

Emma Roberts really pisses me off because of the arrests she has had for domestic violence and no one ever mentions how she used to beat her boyfriends ass. Just keep pushing that America’s Little Sweetheart bullshit.

I’m pretty sure she has already said yes.

This stupid bitch cannot spell, why should we all be surprised that her grown children still use pencil boxes. We see how her whole family values education. I’m sure the only thing they ever built in school were fishin’ poles.

Hello Vegas resident here. I did have an interview to serve cocktails at a high end casino on the strip, I knew someone. I was told to come in a short form fitting dress and heels. I was weighed and had my photo taken. You are written up if you gain weight, then terminated. Nevada is a right to work state. I am 5’7…

Giggling and slurring are part of my personality too *hides empty vodka bottle*!

My husband rolled over in the middle of the night and we had sex. Afterwards I remembered I had a tampon in. I couldn’t get it out, his hands were too big and he couldn’t get it out, the doctor was able to get it out. The nurse said oh its no big deal happens to all of us.

My sister and brother in law were having sex in a hotel and a huge picture fell off the wall and hit her in the head. She was knocked out cold. He had to call 911 and she had a serious concussion. They ended up receiving a nice settlement.

OMG I got a terrible rug burn from sex on the living room floor it hurts more than you think. It was from shoulder to shoulder and everybody asked me what happened to my back.

My boyfriend ate hot wings at the bar I worked at then fingerbanged me in the car. All I could manage to say was did you wash your hands as the burning spread, yes inside and outside. It hurt so bad, we had to stop at his friends apartment so I could soak in his tub because I couldn’t make it to my house. I sat crying…

I would rather have them lie to me than to hear my 13 year old tell me my dancing is offensive.

As a teen I helped her move once and I have never been around someone that could smoke that much and function. I was so high from the contact I couldn’t see straight! It was hours and hours of smoking. Two drinks and she would fall off the stool. She was a psychiatric nurse with a Master’s degree for the love of god.…

I think it would be fun at first, then I would think about slowly wrapping my hands around her throat if she wouldn’t shut up and blowing me buzzzzzzzzzz. I’m easily annoyed sorry.

My aunt would smoke bowl after bowl and order that shit all night.