Fredos are the new turtles.

I think Junior is Sonny, who Vito Corleone painfully admitted was a bad don. 

How does this affect peach futures?

As an American in part of Romainian descent I approve.

My given and legal name is John Smith, and I call bullshit.

Trump’s behavior is no surprise. What wouldn’t he do for a Broad-Breasted White?

I don’t know if shame is dead, but I wouldn’t want to start its car.

I’m not entirely sure of that, but at minimum they have each other on speed-dial.

At this point the real question is how have millennials managed to hold off on selling their kidneys.

Communities of interest that need protection would be in tough shape with fragmentation. Imagine the African-American community of Greater Atlanta in some split-off nation of red states.

I think the only knock on salsify is that you don’t get a lot of edible root for the amount of knife work involved.

These kids must think they’re New York City cops or something.

This is beneath the dignity of your fine piece, but I hope you’ll forgive me.

Thing 1: As the writer Thom Jones put it, cocaine is merely a “triple espresso of a drug”. Meh.

Ms. Bennett had better hope that gun doesn’t jam. In hand-to-hand somebody could yank on those golden tresses and snap her neck like a chicken bone.

I eagerly await Sally Jenkins’ next column in The Washington Post, which will most likely be about this. She has helped to keep attention focused on this horror show.

I assume, then, that we will never see Mexican gymnasts perform in luchador masks. This saddens me.

I need to get several cans of cream of mushroom soup. And pour one out for her.

No, we’re not. My palate goes all over the place, and there should be a place at the table for all kinds of things.

This transplanted Midwesterner could actually go for one of those this fall.  Thanks, Ms. Reilly.