At least he didn’t say “Not bad for an old broad” or attempt to grab her petit chat. Baby steps?

That and/or MPs disguised as sport officials.

Triumph of the Shill?

“Skateboarding is not a crime.”

Is this what they’re talking about when they say “Stop making stupid people famous”?

I live one Metro stop from Nationals Stadium and call bullshit on the home team’s decision. The only thing that shortened the Smitrodog’s walk was residual fireworks.

Whatever’s troubling the Knicks, hanging out with furries won’t help.

Was he in fact monocular?

Let’s surrender. Squirrels surely can’t fuck things up any worse than we have.

Please, Lorde, bring it back! In these dark days we need things to live for.

If you’ve ever been growled at by a raccoon, you learn its kind is a force to be reckoned with. She should also never have to buy her own drinks for the rest of her life, like this guy.

What would Flannery O’Connor have thought of this?

Precise historical comparisons are a fool’s game, so I feel compelled to play. Is this what happens when you, um, deconstruct the administrative state?

As for the Hinge dating guy, he should rock out (with or without genitalia exposed). If they get serious and want babies, then they should go for genetic testing (and genetic counseling if needed) just in case.

What’s the French for “Can you believe that fuckin’ guy?”

Somebody has to say it. #SnakeNews

[I’ve seen Tom Hagen. You, sir, are no Tom Hagen.]

I hope this discussion is pursued for different categories of monsters, ectoplasmic entities and other evildoers.

Why bone a vampire when you could pick up a goth at the mall?

Gene Simmons is not impressed.