I saw the ad for that was like, “Nope.  Way too creepy.”  Clearly the SNL writers felt the same way.

Don’t think about the mirror workout too hard? Huh? It’s a real thing I’ve seen advertised quite a bit. https://www.mirror.co/

I also initially thought this was an Ignatiy review because the snark was so delicious. I haven’t read a review this delightfully scathing in a long time! It’s a shame the movie is so bad. I found the book interesting enough when I read it a few years ago. It wasn’t perfect, but it could have made an intriguing film…

The D is the gentleman's F.

The Winter Soldier is pretty exceptional. Their other work has been decent but not perfect.

The last thing he needs after coming out of rehab is 2 more Petunias.

The term “schtick” implies some kind of performance. This is not that, it’s a passion that has existed since I was a child (a passion so strong it drove me to study engineering, move to Detroit, and work for Jeep).

I’m just buying whatever vehicle I want to buy (remember, I have to pay for these machines with my own…

Good girls suck.  Give me the Baroness any day!

He just wants his kids back.

“At one point, they shoot a rectal exam from the rectum’s perspective. It may be the defining image of a film so far up its own ass.”

I got a Community notification for this?

Just doesn’t really feel like a Brett Ratner article without it. 

Message to younger Soylent Green: buy condoms on the regular.

I would have had a lot more sex in my young, lithe, early 20s body than I actually had.

Easy, I’d tell my younger self “Don’t have sex if you aren’t feeling it. You don’t have to justify your feelings, and there’s no quota regarding the number of sex partners you’re supposed to have”. 

I’d tell myself to start hanging out where the medical students are; probably the dental students, and let those lady doctors know I don’t have any hang ups about women making more money and zero issues taking care of a house and kids.

It’s on the tip of my tongue, it rhymes with “It’s dead, Jim.”

The way he loses his mind when John says he has a solid 54 years before his threesome window closes has been my most favorite thing about Pete Davidson for years! He gets a lifetime pass from me for that alone - the rest of this sketch is just extra goodness (and I’ll never not welcome an appearance by John Mulaney…

I’m not sure how I missed that episode/weekend update but that was fucking amazing.

Pete Davidson - “SNL is like my mom. No matter what I do she never asks me to leave.”