Great grapevine, Taylor!

The teacher’s a Republican?

For real, I just assumed she’s like 32. 48?!

“We can expect to see these gyrations continue throughout the night”

Another Cool Day in Cool America. Cool.

I used to be friends with a woman like this. Not a Kardashian, but meticulous hair and makeup every day, an Instagram account that’s mostly selfies, changes her hair color every 3 weeks. Guess what, she is a narcissist and a terrible friend. An image without substance. A Kardashian without the money. It IS a lot of…

DOGS ARE THE BESTTTTTTTTTTTTT.
That’s all I have to contribute. I’ll show myself out.

You’re not supposed to hang out with them, then. You guys have different values and it’s time to face reality. They can be your Facebook friends, but they can’t be your IRL friends. It’s obvious that you are trying to fit a square peg in a round hole. Quit doing that.

Also, if you want to have a destination bachelor/bachelorette party, you shouldn’t ask your friends to pay for it. It should be, “I rented a party mansion for the weekend! Come!” - not, “I rented a party mansion for my bachelor party. If you want to come, give me $500.”

I can’t even with weddings anymore, because it’s not just the wedding travel, hotel, and gift, it’s the shower and the shower gifts and the destination bachelorette weekend. In my experience, $1,000 per union has been the minimum (minimum!) to attend the obligatory three events: shower, bach weekend, wedding - without…

I don’t have a cute, pithy Gawker family-appropriate comment. Instead I want to voice a sincere thank-you for writing and publishing this information: Thank you.

The same wahhhmbulance that brought Pepper Spray Cop $38,000 for his own “psychological suffering” after assaulting people.

Yup. I once attended a 5-day bachelorette ‘weekend’ that was 99% drinking and 1% we actually stood up and did something. By day 3 I was like, “Guys. I feel like shit. I need to take at least one day off from drinking. Sidenote, how do all of the rest of you not feel like shit right now?” I was slapped in the face with…

Man, I really feel for you and I hope you can rally the courage to tell these people, “Yo! I don’t want to drink! Fuckin’ lay off me!” These people have major alcohol issues and it is not your duty, job, or responsibility to diminish your own HEALTHY desires in favor of catering to their unhealthy (and self-centered!)…

rather than a narcissistic urge to participate in something resembling goodness

Team Sit To Pee! A few years ago I learned that a lot of European men do this, particularly in homes, because it is cleaner. Love.

Sooo the common problem in all this bathroom hypervigilance has consistently been cis men:

The cool thing about breast implants is you don’t need to wear a bra when your boobs “get huge.”

idk i feel like if somebody poked me in the twat i’d also be like “ew” ¯\_(ツ)_/¯