It’s sad that she died, but boy howdy did I have a lot of fun today when I learned that a woman chose to name herself after golden showers.

“No fucking duh,” said literally everyone.

Wow bro chill with all your misdirected rage

The music is so bad, I can’t even get through the first two minutes of this video.

Xtina is my favorite of all the animatronic makeup palettes (ahem Gwen Stefani ahem Jenner-Kardashians)

I had the misfortune of watching (IRL) Lena Dunham get interviewed about her show and all the “journeys” in the next season. She seemed exactly like those loud, super gabby girls in middle school who are in love with whatever high-pitched, 600mph quasi-precocious drivel comes out of their mouths and who make you hate…

Shame he’s going to have chapped lips. Man, computers really do know everything!

My kid will be named Plebe.

Obviously it’s pronounced “Sah[n],” like Yves Saint Laurent. It’s douchey/wannabe Frenchy/fashionista-y, and it also almost sounds like “son,” fam!

That’s not irony.

Please, you know Katy Perry calls it “vinegarette.”

But nah, this woman’s father is not a white man: http://www.people.com/article/texas-…

First question tho: did this lady not have white-people hair?

I usually turn up my nose at IPAs without even tasting them, because I’ve learned they’re bitter af and make me question the sanity of anyone who willingly drinks the stuff. That said, after reading these descriptions I think I’ll try a few of these brews, particularly your #1 and the Cali-Belgique.

My old maid status is looking more and more advantageous every day.

They both lose for the atrocious fake eyelashes.

Because it's not about "he's a man so let's burn him!" it's about ethics in gaming journalism when someone fucks with your life, fuck with theirs right back, no apologies.

As a longtime New Yorker/professional curmudgeon, I've pretty much trained myself to have blinders on at all times. My ability to remove all strangers from my purview is how I ended up sitting next to Josh Hartnett at Fette Sau in Williamsburg one night. I mean RIGHT FUCKING NEXT TO HIM, like his elbow was an inch…

Obviously Khoza didn't deserve to have acid thrown on his penis