I understood like four words of that.

He can go left, he can go right, he’s amphibious.” -Terry Bradshaw

Things Sherman’s Have Ruined, Ranked:

Fuck him. Fuck Trump. Fuck the electors. Fuck the Berniebros who protest voted. Fuck anyone who could have easily voted but actively chose not to.

So conflicted in starring this. Obviously you won out. See ya in hell pimpin ;)

Like hoverboards, this CBA is not going to fly.

Great. Just after I got my permit for Jump & Pump: Trampoline and Skeet Park and had a commercial all lined up with NBA stars saying “Sometimes we jump, sometimes we pump and sometimes we do both at Jump & Pump!”

Are we sure that wasn’t a Twitter hoax too?

Very heartwarming. I can’t remember the last time I saw a college dropout give everything he had.

Sources: Elliott will be fined for prop celebration and suspended 4 games for using pot

I’m curious how Goodell will respond. On the one hand, he hates celebrations, on the other, the League likes to look the other way when players are getting their bells rung.

To be fair, that is convenient.

Potentially all of them!

2016 won’t let us keep anything nice.

He made his bones in art dealing, so you should’ve opened with something about art. Like, “Hey Jeffrey, would you say that the shit-stain of a team you own is more a work of abstract, or post-modern art?”

He probably thought you were just fishing for information.

The proposal specifically bans rituals that require, “dressing up as women or wearing costumes that may be offensive to individuals based on their race, sex, nationality, age, sexual orientation, gender identify or other characteristic.”

This wins the internet for the day. Well done.

He’s wearing camouflage pants.