This song drives me crazy. I have wondered since I was a kid why he doesn't just go down on poor Ruby. And use some marital aids.

NO and if you push up my fold of skin it hurts like fuck. I didn't start masturbating as early as I would have if I hadn't gotten under the fold the first time. Jesus. I didn't touch it again for about two years. So you may be a freak, but not for that reason.

This. Thank you. This is a thing and it does not get enough cultural recognition. The next "sex expert" that says that there should be no problem with an overly large penis if the woman is "relaxed" gets a cold, unlubed speculum up the ass.

I got my period in 1981 and it was either sanitary belts or Tampax, which I could not get in yet no matter what I did and my mom just said I was doing it wrong so it was my fault. They held the pad on OK but the pads were massive and nothing - NOTHING - is less sexy than a sanitary belt. I have never felt so…

Surgical products get re-purposed as period pads, and period pads get re-purposed as Swiffer Wet pads. It's the circle of life!

I can see that it could be either blue or white (I see the blue but I interpret it as a photo that is distorted and is actually white, because who would mix periwinkle with gold??) I CANNOT see black. I literally see shades of gold and tan. Also, I don't need to take the test to see the ugly.

I think he's getting into his groove - last night was the best one I've seen so far. He was really comfortable talking to women and really funny, and his guests were clearly relaxed (and funny) as well.

What? This bothers me way more than her speech.

Yesterday was opposite day? How did I not know that, I love opposite day. Nothing like coming in to work and saying to people "I hate you! It's opposite day!"

OH, Thank God, I am not the only one who does this.

Just from a technical singing standpoint, Gaga wins hands down. Her voice is better, and her interpretation of a song is light-years better.

That's a great skill, but if I could summon the Ents to clean up after an oil spill the way they dealt with that Superfund site known as Isengard - now that would be EPIC.

Yeah, what IS that? I've had this experience as well, more than once. There was this one guy who was on the periphery of a group of people I knew who used to sit and drink at the club while most of us were dancing. I had barely had a conversation with him other than responding tartly to his complaints that everyone…

What I love about her (other than her vocal chops) is how she manages to act outrageous and bashful, sometimes at the same time.

This. I mean, these people are adults with children. Just, what? In the immortal words of Weird Al, "Everybody shut up!"

Yes, because if I live in any city smaller than OKC I really need the clerk of courts to have my STD history. I'm sure they will keep that to themselves, what with all their rigorous HIPAA training. And what about other STD's? Why not gonorrhea, Hep B, HIV, herpes, or, baby Jaysus save us, HPV?

Actually, I'm also quite a bit older than 35, but that was the age where I started to feel like the perpetual target on my ass was getting smaller. It really is a great age.

OH GOD, THOSE GUYS, I SWEAR.

Honestly, they don't get attention from me and I'm a contemporary of the subject of this discussion. Thighs and all (and I remember the day I woke up when I was 46 and said "WTF happened to my thighs??" I'm sure guys have a similar experience with their scrotums).

Please don't feel sorry for us olds who don't have guys giving us "attention" any more. Hitting 35 and realizing that I could occasionally do things on my own and be left in fucking peace - blessed, beautiful peace - was the most exhilarating experience of my life.