Fuck Wilson. The dude just up and swims off at the first sign of rough weather. Some friend.

Griffin: "Can you wrap dees, too?"

Jeez, what's with these weak interview questions?

INTERVIEWER: Now, as someone who coached in both New York and New England in the 90s, there's an infamous incident I want to ask you about-

Westbrook responded, 'It went well. It was a white guy this time, which considering the judicial system we have in this country, is a pretty rare thing. So that was cool. They also didn't botch the drug combo, so the guy didn't lie on the gurney suffering for an hour before he died. So all in all, I have to say the…

It's almost like people don't understand that cheese and crackers can be expanded beyond this.

If BB is such a genius, why is he the only one who gets caught doing things that 'everyone does'. I say this as a die-hard Patriots fan.

Yes.

But you're taking away the HUMAN ELEMENT of fans falling asleep in the stands.

Second time in his career he's taken a knuckler to deep left.

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The 8.9% of the writers that didn't vote for Pedro should have their voting privileges revoked.

Oh man, I used to love listening to Mitch Hedberg.

Well, his parents thought he had enough of a problem to send him to counseling for alcohol. I don't think that's normal, even for a shitfaced 20-year-old.

I'd suggest he enter a 12-step program, but he's already shown he's hopeless when it comes to going through progressions.

#1: We called Darren Rovell one

They'll probably fire the guy who wrote it, but it's everyones fault it got published.

Yes, and it was no accident, either. Welker beat the dog on porpoise.

Bad news for all you Patriots fans out there who were thinking, "I would like to attend the Aaron Hernandez murder trial and also let everyone know that I am a big shithead,"

Actually, the idea of hosting a private party there sounds pretty good if you're looking for a place where the authorities will turn a blind eye to rampant drug use.