Holy shit that banner illustration. I can't imagine that work-order.... Hey Jim... here's what I need.....

You mean the kind where it just comes out without effort and there's only need for minimal wiping? Yeah, it's pretty much the best.

I consider each and every one of you a dear friend, so just between us: Is there anything better than a really awesome poo?

WAIT. How did I not know about that Kathy Lee knocking over the bullshit coffee cup clip. I can't fucking stop laughing. My kind of broad.

Solid strategy: stop reading the second you find something to be bothered about. If you keep reading then the rest of the paragraph might fix the problem, and you won't be able to feel put upon and make it about you.

Queue Patrick Bateman admiring self in the mirror.

Nothing for Rainbow Bright?!?! She's like the raddest bitch out there.

This says the server was a fan. Read a different report at, I think Philly.com or oneof the Philly newpaper sites and THAT said the server wasn't a fan at all.

What, your pants don't have flaps on them? Mine do... and upon further inspection, they are not pants, they are onesies.

Are you Alex Cooper?

As I'm reading this exchange, I'm really struck by how many times my desire to marry my partner of 17 years has been called unnatural and disgusting. Rock on, heteros, I guess.

I didn't get married.

You guys are such hipsters.

Yes, that's an entirely female thing. Those crazy, stupid teenaged girls—if only they could be as wise and mature as teenaged boys!

when I eulogize you

I thought confusion arousal is what you feel upon meeting a physically attractive Republican.