This is as much for the "genius-level IQ" line as everything else.

I have a huge crush on John Goodman. I am always slightly embarrassed about it but if I can't tell you guys, WHO CAN I TELL?!

Don't forget after work with colleagues on a business trip.

Best played with parents and siblings I find.

clandestine escort work a la Lindsay Lohan

I think there's plenty more well-known Asian Americans than Tila Tequila for goodness' sake.

"A little thing that can turn into anything at anytime."

Jesus Christ. Did they film this with a calculator?

PEOPLE, DO YOU EVEN JON HAMM?

When I was a teenager, my grandmother once tried to explain why interracial marriages were bad. "You don't see a horse and cow together, do you?" And I responded, "No, but I've seen black horses and white horses together." Shut her right up.

Previously from that class:

Who let Cory Kennedy out of 2006?

Thanks, Jason Torpoosky, for sharing this crappy story with us.

I HATE HATE HATE the phrase "sending love and light." How does one send light? This is how I imagine it:

Some of these are so good...

The 12 most amazing “men’s rights movies” on Twitter.

Those Donald Trump tweets are starting to become more and more like Horse e-books every day.