MLS, MLB soccer, it’s all sports where teams spend hours to score a single goal.

Doing something with reckless disregard for its consequences still counts as knowingly doing the thing.

mlb soccer? fascinating!

She’s also great in Age of Adaline, a movie I’ve seen more times than I care to reveal here.

The VF story with Timothy Simons is worth reading - the guy is a treasure. Jonah Ryan and Big Head from Silicon Valley make my Sundays of men failing upwards. A nice way to cap a week of seeing our toddler-in-chief failing upwards.

Little do you know of the bitter feud between the Daleys and Lance-Blacks.

Dude what? You know that hospitals aren’t in charge of names, right? Jesus fucking Christ.

People attending the Ja Rule-organized event have complained of a lack of food, while headliner Blink-182 has pulled out.

Things the helpful woman wrote in her post:

I’m betting a key part of the story has been left out.

“First things first I’m the realest”

Noooo I hope they don’t make it ridiculously hard to get. Those of us with finicky bowels, who like to travel anyway, NEED those precious and convenient caplets...

Counter point: lemon gold bears suck. Orange and pineapple (white) gold bears 4evah!

That’s the white pineapple ones for me. Even my 3 year old is trained to know if she is given gummi bears the white ones go to Mom.

She’s trying the best she can but there are only so many ways she can sing “I am Lorde, Ya Ya Ya”

‘Literally no such thing as fake news’?? Please. Also the coyote’s name was Wile E. Coyote, sir. There is literally no such thing as Wildly Coyotes.  

I’ve lost 28 pounds!!! Not related to the election, but as part of my new years resolution to be healthier.

This bitch was on Sunday’s Watch What Happens Live, and when Andy Cohen asked if it covered everything in Britney’s life, her vapid response was something stupid like “Yeah, it covers 26 through 27,” and Andy and I both were like, “what??” He let it go whereas my ass would’ve asked what the hell she meant, and if she…

I will literally mail that reporter a check for $10.

Ten bucks to the first reporter to bring Dippin Dots to a press conference.