If you’re never stuck in traffic... you ARE the traffic.

Good planning is no substitute for good luck.

So our driver quit last Friday. 3 days and 3 scheduled replacements later, NOT ONE has actually showed up.

If you forget to do a final check on a single order before it gets shipped, that will be the one that is wrong.

Glasser’s Corollary: If, of the seven hours you spend at work, six hours and fifty-five minutes are spent working at your desk, and the rest of the time you throw the bull with your cubicle-mate, the time at which your supervisor will walk in and ask what you’re doing can be determined to within five minutes.

Nothing encourages a huge dump like giving up and pulling up your pants.

The map tile you need most will always be the last to load, if it loads at all.

When speaking with a customer, their cell connection will always disintegrate immediately after the point of requesting payment.

*Bias acknowledged

Somehow, the wifi from the guy down the street will always show “Very Strong”... while your own, 5' away, will ever fail you.

There is no quicker way to guarantee a reply than to close the app and to begin a new task at which a disturbance would be really annoying.

That is all

...and it’s broken by a CBJ fan. Here’s hoping they’re right.

*RANT*