I thought that was a fairly level-headed comment, but I guess if you wanna go down this road, I’ll just channel the memories of my most recent argument with my wife about it annnnnd ok.  IT’S JUST A HOBBY! I CAN STOP ANYTIME I WANT, I DON’T WANT TO NOW THOUGH.  YOU ARE THE ONE WHO IS OVERREACTING

*Kavanaugh snarl* I LIKE BEER. I LIKED IT BACK THEN AND I LIKE IT NOW.

I don’t get why letting your dog shit in the shower is a problem? Easy to bag afterwards and then you can just quickly Swiffer the germs and your all done, right?

Well, I hope Draymond at least sends you a card on Father’s Day.

Not that this vapid person needs my defense, but is it not possible that she just plainly fucked up and doesn’t realize it until now?

If they only ran one loop, they would have gotten their 6.4-mile split across then ran on to the finish line without doing the second loop.

Yesterday I picked up one of my two-year-old’s turds off the kitchen floor with a napkin.

What they don’t tell you is Lamaze is basically an advocacy organization for natural childbirth. Most people think they’re general “having a baby” classes and it’s not that at all.  We took the classes but thought they were worthless because we are normal and love drugs.

If you want to avoid circumcising your kiddo, a birth plan with that in BIG BOLD LETTERS is actually a good idea.

Because the default is to shuttle off your kid to the knife.

Also, check out the history of circumcision, and make a decision. The history is ... weird. It would actually make a good deadspin article since…

I tell ya, golf courses and cemeteries are the biggest wastes of prime real estate.

When your spades partner forgets you declared nil.

If it weren’t vegetarian, they wouldn’t call it “tossing salad”.

Maybe he’s just very into buttalingus and he’s worried about performing the act on his beloved on a Friday during Lent.

“...despite video evidence that he walked into the space separating the students and Black Israelites and stood there before that students formed a semicircle around him. “

If he’s such a great prognosticator, then why didn’t he open the broadcast with, “Everybody should just go to bed right now, because in a few hours you will all want to kill yourselves.”

I think it was that throw to Gronk down the sideline where he noted, “If the safety steps up, he’s going to Gronk one-on-one.” I immediately was staring at that safety, saw him step up, and I was like, “Here it comes.”

I was in an airport getting out of TN and the other travelers were going on with their day, but the staff and workers were stopping every now and then to look up and just fucking watch.

Take the SAT?

“He can do stuff that Chris Paul and Derrick Rose can’t.”