There’s also that girl in Niagara Falls. You wouldn’t know her.

“Frankenstien” wha?

“👍👍” —Peter Paul Rubens

Even if my heart wasn’t in a sling—on the heels of half a tryst with a woman who was there the whole time—this heretofore unheard track would’ve destroyed me, despite the Robert Fripp solo. Angelic

There’s an idea that if there were term limits everywhere even less would be accomplished, because it takes some time for newly elected officials to get established or familiar with a system upon taking a seat. There are many incumbents I’d prefer to stay in office to keep a steady hand on the tiller (i.e. Patty…

“NO HATE FOR YOU!”

Try getting a grip on context first. You gotta learn to walk before you can run.

Defensiveness so thick you can cut it with a knife.

Ok you two- that’s enough Galaxy Quest alien improv. Time for bed

You’re on fire tonight

God bless Kinja.

My safe word is “Lego”

ProTip: clean up your family’s house before you invite your mistress over. Nothing kills the mood faster than stepping on a Lego

Point of contention: we are actually terrible at stabbing. That’s why all the guns. And penises.

Well Jesus was the first American, so that time line fits pretty good

Japan may not have a lot of guns, but we don’t have an Emperor sitting on a Chrysanthemum Throne taxing our tea with an iron hand.

“makes a hail mary”

“My mouth was hacked!”

“Make room down there, female Trump voters!”