The Castle—Kafkaesque in every sense. Brilliant!

As orgies go, it was a walk in the park…a bucolic romp of rutting rumps and flashing fangs and heavy breathing. Or was I watching an episode of The Real Housewives of Lugoj…?

I'm hoping Edward Mordrake makes an appearance and he and John have a face off….

Nothing like trying to uncork a bottle of flat champagne, Ryan Murphy. The Eleventh Commandment? Thou shalt not write another season of AHS.

The hole in the wall gang should have been able to fight off mere mortals—not buying the Poe-etic brick'em up in the wall alive shtick. And the endless shots of doughy naked flesh are getting a little stale, although they seem to get a rise out of AHS viewers. Lazy story telling, Murphy. Lazy. Just because this…

Picture Ryan Murphy yelling in the writers' room, "I want to see only assholes and elbows until you get this plot right!" The writers took his direction literally….

Hilarious episode. This is a comedy, right?

March is a hybrid of Gomez, Ronald Colman, George Sanders, and every leading man from every high school production of Arsenic and Old Lace. *Snork*

This episode deserved a D for the idiotic plot, not to mention the dinner party ick factor. And Evan Peters' imitation of Ronald Colman wears thin after a few minutes. The whole mess is beyond salvaging. I can't understand why the talented cast would even consider starring in this dreck. It's unadulterated crap…

I wonder if the hipster's man bun would fit under a turban—divine!

IHNIWYATABKMAAFO

IHAEYBWTF

I'd like to see the hipster version of the Brawny lumberjack return as one of the undead toting a giant roll of paper towels to clean up Ryan Murphy's messy plot and seemingly endless supply of fake blood. All of the coy nods to De Palma, Kubrick, King, Jackson, etc., don't add up to a cohesive storyline, just a…

Insipid…derivative…self-consciously clever…sturm und drang…full of sound and fury signifying nothing.

I find Captain Randall's storyline tiresome and predictable. Sadomasochistic homoerotica by any other name is still porn—not romantic or interesting. Kill the bastard and get on with the story.

"The Boy Next Door" is dreck; it is not campy fun. Even Ryan Guzman's glistening pecs and toned keister can't save this turd of a movie. It's a yawn—predictable and tedious. One big cliche from start to finish.

Dandy follows Elsa to Hollywood and television stardom. While starring as Winnie the Pooh in a live broadcast of "Shirley Temple's Storybook", Dandy bludgeons Piglet with a honeypot.

Kathy Bates + spirit gum + fake hair = building a character for Ryan Murphy. Let's hope the only "dispiriting" happens to her face next season. AHS scripts seem to be written by a group of chimps with typewriters—random plots, characters, and a lot of monkey business.

I think she may have been trying to dislodge a wad of faux beard from between her teeth…or some of the scenery she was chewing. I love her, too. I hope she gets a better role, better lines, and no beard next season.

Dandy's death tanked. He should have escaped the Chinese Water Torture Cell and hotfooted his way to Hollywood. I wish Elsa had found him drifting in her pool on a floating lounge chair. He could have blackmailed his way into show business….