"He may be armed, he may have narcotics in this vehicle, he may have a litter of kittens that were just born in the trunk. We really don't know"

Is he the new Clinton Portis?

I saw that happen yesterday, and said "that'll be on deadspin in 5 minutes"

Boooooooooo

Pfft. Dawkins did it better.

I awake to some girl I am vaguely familiar with screaming at me, "Get the fuck out of my room, you shit in my bed." I took her word for it and headed for the door

Soon the NFL will have to ban all celebrations due to injuries.

That's some skill to wipe with a loonie, eh?

When even a ref comes and gives you a slap on the back.. you know it's sad.

"It's like when Kid A came out, in 2000," he adds. "Everyone at Tower Records or whatever was like 'Ok well I guess this goes in Rock/Pop?' because you just have to put it somewhere."

I've never wanted to sit in a backseat more

where's the stunt?

I miss these great celebrations. The NFL is getting soft.

I thought it was an S

He never says he's actually smacking around his 1 year old with a stick.. He says he's disciplining her to his best judgement and will as she grows up. Raise your hand if you were spanked as a kid.

was that Dawkins on the hit?

You mean a Nissan GT-Roar... because it's a cat... maybe not a large cat but a cat nonetheless. Get it.

file://localhost/Users/designlab11/Desktop/Screen%20Shot%202014-08-21%20at%204.16.15%20PM.png

but she was colder than an ALS ice bucket.

@TheAnonMessage is suspended on twitter right now.