This is revenge, delayed by a generation, for Love's Baby Soft.

That's a godless killing machine, right there. It's you or it. That's the stakes we're at. Lousy bread-eaters.

1) You do not have a right to be the star of your own nationally-syndicated television show. That is a huge, huge privilege that is bestowed upon a very, very small amount of people in the entire nation. It's ok to have standards, like, must be competent, and must not be a horrible person.

I love that absolutely no actual interviewing happened, nothing was accomplished and yet Stewart still managed to give me the best laugh of the day. When Paul Rudd grabbed the champagne flute and started guzzling, I lost it. Well done, boys.

Am I the only one who excitedly clicked on the Harry/Skarsgard link because her brain translated it as NSFW, and was horribly disappointed to find herself on the National Science Foundation Page? Dammit.

I would pay so much fucking money for Tim Curry as Maria...

Dress is hideous, but this eye makeup is everything.

She also looks like a weak version of Yo-Landi from Die Antwoord.

Oh just SAY IT SARAH. It's THE JEWS who are ruining Christmas, right?? It's Joseph Scroogeberg and his dreidel-spinnin', Jesus-killin' comrades!

Look at you with your facts, citing actual official sources. Adorable. How is this loon supposed to justify his hatred and fear if you keep trying to make him see the way things actually are? Can't be done.

Me too!

Oh honey, IT IS TO ME!

"I don't even have a phone with a camera on it!"

The Chinatown and Russian smuggling rings thanks you, Mayor Bloomie!

I've seen this at least a dozen times and I smile every single time.

I ran out and had to send my mom on a 7-11 run. There was about 10 minutes where I had apples and cans of beans from trader joes. One kid actually wanted the beans. Thank God I didnt get egged. In my defense I had no idea that my mother had essentially eated 5 lbs of chocolate and all I had left was the ones she didnt…

(sloooooowly pushes the half-eaten jumbo bag of mellocreme pumpkins under a stack of paper to hide her shame....)

Personally. Twice even. Perhaps even three times, just to make damned sure.