I understand. My Dad had a stroke two years ago. I've saved the last voicemail I got from him before the stroke, but I have never been able to listen to it. He can talk still, but his brain function is dramatically reduced. I've kept every voicemail he's left me since then.

This is no joke. I sat behind a lady a few weeks ago, and the stench she laid was unreal. I had to cover my head with my scarf for 20 minutes until it was safe.

Afternoon Delight came out when I was in 4th grade. We spent quite a bit of time whispering about what it was really about.

Afternoon Delight is a wonderful song! What's the matter with you?

Uh oh. I do indeed sit in that circle (hangs head in shame). A properly aged circus peanut is a wonderful thing (they must be quite stale to be perfect, like peeps).

Saw it this weekend after stalking it for about three years (through pre-prod via Facebook).

I wish Muslims in the US weren't so terrified of getting killed and would fight as hard as the Satanists. Florida would go screaming yellow bonkers if they had to hand out coloring books about Islam and Korans and had displays for Eid or Ramadan in the courthouse.

When I got my first very own all to myself office, I walked in humming Let The River Run and felt very proud of myself.

I'm not proud of this, but I'm not ashamed either.

My stepfather is Italian and loves hot spicy stuff. I took him to an Indian restaurant and he ordered Vindaloo. Waiter told him it was very hot and asked if he was sure. Stepfather got all puffed up and told waiter to make it extra hot.

When my niece was 12 (two years ago), she told me that all the girls in her science class always made sure to bring big sweatshirts to wear in class because the teacher was a huge lech and liked to stare at their chests and make gross comments. I pitched an enormous fit, but no one thought there was anything odd or…

Fox & Friends was outraged because those evil Muslins are forcing the good Christian Americans to not have Christmas on the calendar and isn't that awful? There is freedom of religion, and that means that Christians should have their holidays on the calendar. Note: freedom of religion does not apply to evil Muslins…

When I was growing up in CT in the 70s, the town decided that if the Jewish population hit 3%, they would have a school holiday on Yom Kippur. We never hit that percentage when I lived there. The town's main Priest didn't believe in Vatican II and still taught that the Jews killed Jesus. I had teachers who…

Geez, that show. For the most part, if you take any member of the population and fix their teeth, give them a decent haircut, carefully applied makeup and a good outfit that fits properly, plus three months of exercise, sleep, good nutrition and high end skin care, and you'll have a beauty. No need for plastic…

Before my friend had kids, I used to love to joke with her about what would happen if they were born with her old nose (which, really, was more of a beak than a nose) and asked questions about how they looked so different.

Aqua Grill is awesome for seafood.

Oh, and when I try to talk to him about this, he tells me it is BS and I am crazy and then whines about how hard of a time he is having.

Figure I'll toss this up here and see if anyone has any advice.

I call bullshit.

I had that surgery in 1969, when I was 2. For the most part, it's held. If I get very very tired, my left eye floats outward just a little bit, but it is barely noticeable. Also, during allergy season, the little scar in the inside corner of each eye swells a bit and can look kinda grey if you really really look…