Speaking of, I feel cheated that Palpatine was resurrected by opening crawl and we never found out exactly how he survived. That was some bullshit.

I half heartedly thought the opening crawl would just be JJ’s diary entry for what he would have done instead for Episode VIII. He ended up using the whole film for that.

The film over-corrected in reaction to the franchise’s worst fans and was a finale that had to retcon and undercut so many things about the saga to make itself work.

Annarbor and the Terrible, Harbaugh, No Good, Very Bad Day

I don’t think they’re going to Vegas in a “down on my luck, nothing left to lose” way. More in a “haven’t been relevant in 30 years so I guess I’ll do a residency at the MGM” way.

“Every story deserves a happy ending.”

The Raiders got Cold Feet fast

This is awful, so how about some classic Simpsons to lighten the mood.

Yes, it’s Mike Mayock! The football sensation that’s sweeping the nation! Only $14.95 at participating stores! Get one today!

Roxanne! You don’t have to put on that red hat.

Finally, the league from Any Given Sunday is here for real! 

What is it with Indiana and murals?

Just last week I fucked around and got a triple-double.

I wish she’d done that at an And1 gymnastics meet so they could’ve stopped the performance and had the crowd rush the mat with everybody going “OHHHHAAHHHH!!” and the on-floor MC yelling “IT’S OVER! IT’S OVER!! SIT DOWN RUSSELL WESTBROOK!!” and the whole thing dissolving into delirious chaos

I took my blood, I doped it down

Denis Suarez was actually in the backseat, but everyone forgot about him.

Does this mean we’re getting Days of Thunder 2?

I would’ve at least expected Tim Ream to be caught out of position on this question.

Man, these guys really won’t defend anything.