Now if we can just have Alec Baldwin in bad makeup read this aloud so a certain President-elect could find out about this.

JEFF FISHER: I’m not fucking going 7-9!

*One finger of the Monkey’s Paw closes*

When he throws 98 mph, guys like Rajai Davis hits home runs off of him.

Note where this expensive bullpen got the Yankees to compared to the Cubs and Indians.

That would be something, considering Chapman almost never throws his changeup. Why is he hiding this apparently great pitch?

It almost goes without saying, of course, that neither the Cubs and Indians got their bullpens through signing expensive free agents to long-term deals. The Indians traded for Andrew Miller and developed Cody Allen. The Cubs traded for Chapman and otherwise got their bullpen in the traditional Theo Epstein way: buying…

Brian Kelly’s ability to escape blame at Catholic Institutions is so good that they’re going to name him archbishop of the Boston diocese.

*Darrelle Revis sheds a solitary tear thinking about what use to be.*

What’s the big deal if he’s signed a minor league deal? It’s not like he’s taking someone spot!

Phil Jackson got into this mess because he insulted Lebron’s friend and Lebron pretended their are some racial undertones to saying “posse” that didn’t exist until Lebron decided it was to his benefit. There are no “good guys” in this story, just good gossip.

Dead Man Down might have only been in theaters for a week, but its trailer cover of Shine On You Crazy Diamond will last forever.

It’s frightening to think someone follows the Atlanta Falcons, much less remembers their failures in vivid detail.

But if boys do not learn to follow the idiotic diktats of their coaches in high school, how will they ever survive in the real world where authority may never be questioned?

And you may tell yourself
This is not my beautiful house!
And you may tell yourself
This is not my beautiful wife!

A New Yorker cartoon, because a classy man deserves a classy magazine.

Sam Hinkie is somehow both the delusional elitist out-of-touch with reality who keeps falling up no matter his level of incompetence because of his mastery of TEDtalk-speak AND the person a delusional fanbase put their hopes into to break the current system and deliver victory even by every reasonable metric shows no…

This story is just crazy!

Christ, this is a very long version of the same article everyone on the Left has written:

Unbelievable.

Including the earphones, this weekend has cost Harbaugh $10,050.