This is really just evidence how far Las Vegas has advanced in the past few decades. Back in the day, he would have just killed the reporters.

I could raise more money from Columbus residents to keep the Browns out of the city.

FanDuel and Draft Kings’ argument that picking players is purely a skill becomes more and more tenuous by the day.

Megatron, asked why he was retiring, responded, “I just don’t like the direction Michael Bay is taking with the franchise.”

Yeah, well, Earl Monroe also got rookie of the year in his first season.

The teams will draw a line in the middle of the field and promise that neither team will cross it, not even during games.

If a lot of state courts continue to say “DFS is obviously illegal,” could DFS sites be liable to their investors if they suggested otherwise when the investors put their money in? That Fan Duel/Draft Kings should have told them that there was a good chance they wouldn’t be allowed to operate in a bunch of states…

Well, those NCAA ads did say most of their athletes went pro in something besides sports.

Are you saying it’s not impressive unless someone does something impossible?

I hate political movments that divide instead of bringing us together, if the Royals and Seahawks just wrote a petition “Fire Joe Buck because he fucking sucks.” We might have gotten real change by now.

Bill Gates not going to give up title of “Most Evil Bill” to Belichick without a fight.

FBI AGENT: So the password is Eckstein123? That’s the stupidest password I’ve ever heard in my life! That’s the kind of thing an idiot would have on his luggage!
BOB ELLIOTT: That’s amazing. I’ve got the same combination on my luggage.

SCIENTIST: He’s still capable of independent thought.
BELICHICK: Not good enough! I make the decisions here. I want him so pliable that he sounds like a guy who would support a political candidate on the basis of his slogan! Get back to work.

$70 million of that will be in a weight-loss product that the Wilpons promise Cespedes essentially sells itself. In fact, Cespedes can recruit OTHER people to sell the product while he focuses on baseball.

Reached for comment, Cavs Superstar LeBron James said, “The team is going to miss Dave and all the hard work he has done. But I promise the city of Cleveland: we will not stop until we find an even more talented individual to serve as team waterboy for the rest of the season.”

The Fox News panel on the #OscarsSoWhite hashtag?

GREG POPVICH: I want us to prepare for every game like it’s game 7! Thinking of every possible play and circumstance that could happen and what we’re willing—
KAWHI: We’re playing the Nets tonight, Coach.
GREG POPVICH: Huh. You know, I’ve been hearing good things about this Hamilton play. Let’s check it out.

It’s harder to predict if Kelly will fail as 49ers coach as he’s currently more a fail GM-Coach hybrid. Failed coaches can almost always be written off. I don’t think that might be true here. It’s clear Kelly should never get another GM job, but his failings as a coach might not be fatal.

No.

It seems to me that DFS tried to pull an Uber: create so immensialy popular that by the time regulators started to notice it would be too late to do anything about it. This strategy has failed for a variety of reasons: DFS is more self-evidentially illegal, more people need taxis than they need to gamble on sports,…