I died. Bless you, Jewel.

Oh man, those shots at her were amazing. I feel you Jewel, I too am delighted.

She buys groceries?! I assumed her sustenance came from turning her head 180 degrees and eating the face of her partner during copulation.

You came into a thread talking about how Amy Schemer handles hecklers well, and started saying she sucks as a comic and hey Maria Bamford. This isn’t an “argument” that people want to engage with you in, because its completely out of left field, it’s a dumb argument because all it is is opinions and of course we’re…

No no you see, the hivebrain is allowed to like only ONE token female comedian at a time, and Amy already had her 15 minutes. Now she is problematic, so nothing she says from now on is funny or cool.

You do realize that a pro-woman discussion of female comics allows Maria Bamford and Amy Schumer to co-exist? Schumer’s success is only a detriment to Bamford if you believe that women inherently must compete with one another and that there’s only room for one of them.

Tell us: how did it feel to get tossed out of the show last night?

Yeah, speaking as a person who always comes up with the great comeback about two hours post-incident, I would like some of those skills, please.

God damn it. First Lady Ghostbusters and now Lady Ghosts? STOP RUINING MY CHILDHOOD!

Mmm. Intergenerational conflict. Bring on the Boomers to shake their walkers and the other Millenials to make fun of them with Snapchat filters. As a dedicated Xer, I shall dutifully express my aloofness by rolling my eyes at all of you.

Usually, it involves pushing an old person in a wheelchair into the deep end. It’s an acquired taste.

This is truly an original bit of trolling.

Why do you assume there’s public transportation to the job? Where some may consider driving a fine automobile to work a luxury, others see having easily accessible public transportation as one.

It’s like they always say, dress for the job you want, not the job you have.

So what happens if you wear the ring with a pair of sweatpants? Do the conflicting maintenance-level-indicators create a rip in the time-space continuum, negating the need for steady employment?

BoobPunch & Aurora PR Team to the Stars.

I’ve posted this elsewhere, but this seems to be a good time and place to repost. My boyfriend, Jon Snow:

Oh, I hope they click on Squirrelfran!

Am I doing it right?

...and on that note, a big welcome to all the commenters fleeing gawker and looking for a new place to hang!