I just want to point out that it’s ridiculous that I watch the first two regularly, and sometimes the 3rd if I’m drunk and it’s late enough.

Also it’s the same thing with drinking so much water - if you talk to most doctors, they’ll say “drink water when you’re thirsty.” My husband’s family has a history of cancer on the maternal and paternal side, and my MIL who is a stage 4 breast cancer survivor went to this really crazy well known doctor in New York…

Lordy. My cousins and their boyfriends did a 3 day juice cleanse and they were like “I feel so energetic and my eyes are so clear!” I was like “that’s because you haven’t been drinking alcohol, you’ve been on 200 calories a day for the past 3 days, and have drank like 5 gallons of water.”

From one of Spouse’s field trips to a farm in WV:

When my husband and I were young, dating and broke we watched both of those channels a lot. We haven’t watched either in at least 5 years. My uncle just got out of jail and said that ALL they watch in there (besides Empire) is hgtv.

I’m glad you had a good experience! I feel like the only one I would go on is the one with the guy who fixes up the rental property (I think it’s called Income Property). He usually seemed to want to fix unforeseen issues, but if it turned out crappy, it was a rental anyway and is bound to need work after a few cycles…

File under: Not Worth It

If the homeowner ends up putting cash into the renovation, what is the point of going on this or a similar show? What do the homeowners actually get out of ruining their own house, on their own dime, on tv?

Gahh I had to come back to this article to comment. My husband and I have taken a break from drinking for a bit and it’s been hard to sleep so I’ve been taking melatonin and having the most fucked up weird-ass dreams. I read this article yesterday, then saw some thing on FB about how they are making Zombieland 2.

“Spouse, make me a video and make it go viral.”

Former colleague did that and filed them by year in 3-inch binders all the way back to 1998.

The top result for those keywords even has sitelinks... “Weapons:” “Target:”

I just cleared my history/keychain and actually opened up another computer, copied down my jez key, signed back in on this computer, all to star this.

The FB comments on the onion and clickhole posts are so so so great. They give those clueless people who think it’s serious a suuuuuper hard time, and I enjoy it 100%.

Finally found a comment on the most important part of the article!

Lil Mayo > Riley Curry

Tiny Toons season 1 episode 14 when Babs loses her sense of humor, there is a scene where she is eating a mayo on wonder bread sandwich and with dead eyes, says “mayo on white. delish.” My little bro and I died because who eats just mayo on bread?! We still use the phrase to this day - especially when I’m feeling…

I was like “please be cream cheese, please be cream cheese” (cause somehow that’s better?) nope. mayo. fuck.

You can see this so clearly on those shows “finding your roots” and that other TLC one - the white celebrities’ episodes usually end with a flight to europe and the black celebrities’ episodes usually end in some southern library looking at old slave auction ledgers.

My stint in Appalachia consisted of competing with the entire town for one teller job at a bank that paid $8/hr. Instead I sold my car and planted a garden.