Commentators later added that Hayes has a flashy, naturally-gifted vocabulary, in contrast to his gritty libraryrat teammates.

Like a trio of schoolchildren

These guys. I hope they win. Now that Georgia State is out, no one is having more fun.

My idea: after the two point conversion, a team can kick a 60-yard PAT for another two points, but it's double or nothing. Make it? You get your 10 points. Miss? Back down to six.

Why stop at one bonus FG? Make it interesting...you can take the bonus kick, but if you miss, the other team gets the point instead. If you make it, you can choose to kick another (and keep going until you miss), but if you miss, the other team gets a point total equal to the number of kicks you have tried.

I, for one, see nothing wrong with the Patriot Act that would increase video surveillance of everything.

Isn't it possible that he merely forgot that he had committed to signing with Browns?

Confusing list. I expected him to use bullets.

"Murder multiple people" was on the list, but checked off, as it had been completed.

It's definitely my most important work since my investigation into Ryan Tannehill's toe thumbs.

This is the kind of hard-hitting investigative journalism I come to Deadspin for.

I used to be an insufferable prick. Then, I bought an iWatch and now all I can talk about is this incredible piece of technology attached to my arm that also communicates with my iPhone while backing up all the while to my iCloud on my iMac, which also cost about $3,000 but it was totally worth it because my entire…

Chip's gonna be pissed when he finds out Byron Maxwell isn't actually this guy.

Stone cold truth.

Personally I think it'd be alright to give Tebow another shot at the NFL. He definitely did win some games he appeared to have no business winning, he's a talented athlete, and throwing motions are in theory fixable. Is he really worse than Geno Smith or Christian Ponder? He could at least be useful as a backup, and…

I don't want to overreact, but....

Are the Rangers built on an ancient Indian burial ground or something???

I honestly don't know how Boehim can recruit going forward. He used to be able to say if you come to Syracuse, you'll get to play in NCAA tourneys and do Fine. What can he say now?

If I know Chris Johnson, he wasn't carrying them very far.