Jordan would have skated with a broken jaw and hit the game winner. Soft.

Meanwhile, look at what this insufferable, killjoy, perpetual victim took from the game:

Oooh, they should make dorito flavored chips.

Mike Monitors, Misses, Momentary Mate Mike Making Modern Marconi Manifestations Mid Morning Meal.

“Whoa...sweet mechanics!”

Let’s be honest, how much do you *really* want to know about punting?

Well, if you take the case to a Jury trial I think he might get 10-15 years in football jail but he may get off with nothing. On the other hand, if you offer him a plea I bet he’d take 7-9.

“My name is KIIIIIICKKKKKKKK, KICK ROCKKKKSSS. I love that song too.”

Antarctica is mostly known as a snowy wasteland

The subtext is obvious but it’s worth spelling out that “family-friendly” here is a dogwhistle for “you won’t have to explain to your kids that a professional athlete is upset that unarmed black people are getting murdered by police, in the very unlikely event they even noticed the brief protest to begin with”. Christ.

This whole process went quicker than an actual play review.

I don’t see what the big deal is. Back when Jim Abbott was pitching the crowd would always give him a hand.

Nice! I would have guessed the SEC Yule log was just a passed out Brent Musberger.

“There ain’t no North Pole, thus there ain’t no Christmas”

Kinda sad how the same handful of commenters have the time and energy to show up with snarky comments on every minor blog post. Perhaps they think enough stars will cause them to “level up”?

this is the hard-hitting journalism I come for

These TD celebrations are getting more and more elaborate and inscrutable.

It is a shame he didn’t get playing time, because if you hit him in the numbers a bag of Doritos would drop.