One suspects the custody battle is not over the child so much as it is over controlling the child’s future golf earnings.

Bills fans, man. What the fuck.

 if her family does have money

“Homeless guy walks up to my car, yells at me and says insulting things.”

No no no no no. No popular country. Shit is awful, its fans are fucking useless. “Honky Tonk Badonkadonk”? Go fuck yourself.

Cash bar at weddings are blasphemous.

obligatory

On the one hand, it’s Ohio State, so fuck ‘em. There is no other hand.

“special kind of stupid”

Hiding in the slots and bolting at the wrong time in a way that catches the eyes of officials is what Michael Bennett does for a living.

Maybe, but they’ll be paying full price for tickets.

I’m going to go with “He’s black and we didn’t know he had the money to hire a bunch of lawyers” for 200.

I never knew why nike made so many wicking synthetic polo shirts, but now I realize they are the ultimate shirt for drunken stadium fighting.

That’s Trump’s America for you. Greys are out first. Browns next.

Too soon, man...

The number of people who are too dumb to realize that something is wrong with their motion-smoothing-enabled tv is the #1 data point that should have tipped us off that Trump would win.

Leave Z-Bo alone, 9800 career rebounds without jumping off of the floor ONCE. The man is a hero to lazy people like me!

If DISTRACTIONS are so unwelcome, shouldn’t Jerry Jones have personally driven Zeke to the unemployment office by now instead of participating in a months-long game of chicken with the G-Hammer?

We call people like you a “mark.”