Also, new roof, new furnace, new water heater and new AC.

A little more about the house—it’s early 1900s, 1600 square feet with a basement and attic crawl space, back yard with deck, front porch, claw foot tub, 3 bed rooms and a downstairs soon to be library with a picture window. And this staircase:

My friend’s rooster is not only a good rooster like this, but also Gloriously Beautiful. Good lord, he’s one nice looking chicken.

Dietrich in The Lady is Willing pre- and post- broken ankle; stylish in every way.

Insurance companies only exist because they deny, deny, deny legitimate claims. Does anyone on here work for one? Do you feel it’s an ethical occupation?

My aunt owned a bagel shop for twenty years or so and obviously had insurance that entire time. It burned down a year ago through no fault of her’s (Massachusetts was in a drought last year and someone had put a cigarette out in mulch next door. The dryness helped it spread.)

Lloyd’s would have made Kanye undergo a complete medical exam (probably including psych) before issuing such an enormous completion bond. But sick isn’t always predictable, and while his claim is legitimate, show business can be brutal about accommodating such things.

Guess who is now the owner of this window and the world’s largest house key?

My sister has kept a large flock of pet chickens for years. She said 19 out of 20 roosters are assholes. They are given away (probably to the stewpot) to whomever wants them. After a decade she has a ‘good one’ for her flock, and just got some surprise chicks! Apparently a good rooster brings the hens tasty…

That guy needs to lighten up, he’s dragging down the party cocks!

Did this dim-witted shitbird get a rooster without ever, like, reading about roosters? “This stupid rooster won’t even play fetch and is useless when I take him duck hunting!”

Did this man never own a See-N-Say? Even babies know what noises chickens make. Ffs.

Any way you slice it, pharma is not going to make as much money from it being totally illegal (forcing people to use prescription drugs) as it would from it being legal, because it’s a drug you can grow yourself. If you could grow your own Oxycontin, pharma companies would lose money too. 

“...racist-Bratz doll husk Jeff Sessions...” nothing to add except this is killing me, I laughed loud and got a look.” Maybe add “found in a diaper genie” or something.

November 2016 was a disappointing month for many reasons. Chief among them was the electoral college decision in favor of TrumPutin.

It’s possible, but I see Kelly and Bannon butting heads a lot, especially in regards to access to the President: Bannon is in a weird position where he (technically) can access the President when he wants to, but Kelly is supposed to be the filter that limits access to the President by design. They could end up in…

And there goes another staffer....

Why do I imagine Jared Kushner saying this a la some weird white people wasp-y party with white wine spritzers and sweaters jauntly tied around their shoulders. Him on some couch surrounded by a bunch of blonde, white interns, laughing over how too disorganized they were too collude with Russia.

45 and 45 BMI deserve each other.

Actually, Trump is not a full-blooded Oompa Loompa. He is the offspring of an Oompa Loompa and Mike TV.