I’m not so sure about that. I’ve made a strong effort to not apologize constantly and to avoid “hedging” words like “just,” “kinda,” “sort of,” and “a bit” in speaking and writing. I’ve definitely gotten some negative pushback–mostly from supervisors, the worst from a 60+ older, British male boss (shock), and another…

I asked one guy “don’t you think you’re being a little overly sensitive?” He didn’t like that AT ALL. Ironically, he’s one of my biggest fans, now, because I “don’t bullshit” him. Which is good, I guess, but man, guys are weird.

Metaphors to give corporate men the illusion that their work is work.

Right? So here’s the thing: as an individual woman, you (and I’m using the general “you” here) you very well may need to adapt yourself to the professional world that was not originally designed to accommodate your gender. And it’s all well and good to talk about how to do that—how to climb, how to be more confident,…

Not a word was spoken, yet much was understood.

You mean like this?

Agree with much of this in theory, but sometimes it’s less about “how am I being perceived” and more about “how can I bring about the desired result.” Because when you know damn well that the person whose ideas or plans you’re about to counter or question is an arrogant jackass who gets defensive upon any outright…

Yesterday I cried in front of my boss. I had a legit reason, yet struggled mightily against the urge to apologize to him (for experiencing an emotion? for potentially making him feel mildly uncomfortable?). There was absolutely no reason for me to apologize to him in that situation, but the cultural conditioning is…

What the fuck is up with your boss? He shouldn’t ask questions if he doesn’t want answers.

That sounds like bullshit to me. If you are sure of your opinions, what does he care? I hate it when people call assured women “opinionated.” If he asks you does he want you to stammer and do a whole lot of “I don’t know?”

Yeah, whatthefuck DOES that mean? If someone asks you a question, and you give a definite answer, it’s bad, because he wanted... what? He was expecting you to preface your answer with “This is just my opinion, but ___”, like a lady?

that is bullshit - and yeah, it sounds like he thinks you’re too certain. :P

Yep. I routinely get this question — don’t you think you were being a little harsh? — when what I was being (imo) was direct and forthcoming. My philosophy is that, since I can’t win, I’m going to go with the strategy that comes naturally, and that means “harsh”. So be it.

I had a graduate school professor who would correct me every time I said, “sorry” unnecessarily. He thought he was helping me, but I was 21, and all he did was make me avoid him whenever possible.

I was writing a work email yesterday and was reading it over before clicking “send” and deleted my “just” from my sentence because I thought the same thing - that I sounded too tentative or even apologetic.

I just had a meeting with my boss and my boss’s boss telling me to use qualifiers so I sound less abrasive. Seriously. “Maybe, instead of telling the other team your ideas you can phrase it more as a suggestion?” We’ll never get over this until the men children I work with are told to deal with women working as their…

Sorry, I just want to say that if my boss started policing my every word and taking secret notes when I spoke, I might feel a little self conscious and less confident. I’m no expert, but I actually think that this might really undermine the women who have fought their way up to really difficult executive positions at…

“did i stutter, bitch?” always works for me.

But still, I’m using the language presentation I’ve been taught to use, because when I don’t, I’ve been told throughout my life in one way or another—from a boss, a boyfriend, a coworker, a performance review—that I sound too abrasive. Like a bitch. Not nice. Angry. Uppity.

“In fact, inside, I feel a thousand percent sure of myself because if I didn’t know what I was talking about, I wouldn’t be talking.” Perfect