There is an ‘un-fuck’?!? Do I wish.

I have occasionally wished my vagina had a Ctrl-Z option.

“And normally you don’t get dumped by fat girls, but here we are...”

Grandmas are obsessed with their granddaughters being skinny. I mean, my own, my best friend’s, my childhood best friend’s.... All talking about it a lot. What is up with that??

My mother: You know, I’m worried about you, you can’t be happy. You really should lose some weight.

“You’d better marry a woman who can take care of you, because you’ll never take care of yourself.”
-Parental Neg

My dad once pulled something similar on me, right before a growth spurt at 14, I told him I wanted to be at least 5’7” because that meant that I could audition for this one drum corps that was all male. The budding feminist I was figured that they couldn’t keep me out if I was a girl as long as I was awesome and fell…

I once got, after administering (complimentary) oral sex, “did you brush your teeth?”

I’m moving to Colorado and will be going through my (second) divorce (from the same person, we suck at being married but we actually do have incredibly amicable divorces, so there’s that). I got a card from my mom today, I hadn’t even told her, but apparently news travels. It was I think (?) her version of…

Why are moms so misogynistic?

Young Marillenbaum, trying on her junior prom dress.

This sounds a lot like my mom. Before I called her out on it she would always say things like “You’re eating AGAIN?”.... several hours since the last time I ate.

My mother and grandmother started with that shit when I went from a size 4 to a 6 in the 9th grade. (I had just quit competitive swimming.) funny thing is now I’m 27 and around an 18 and they have learned that I'm not going to take that shit n

Lol. “WHY???”

YOU KNOW WHY.

There needs to be a new thread on “mom negs.”

What? It’s almost as if you don’t realize an erection is the ultimate magic scepter of approval. It’s like a barometer for female worth, but with veins and sometimes a faint hint of camembert. I mean, obviously.

All men seem to think the women in their lives need semi constant unsolicited penis updates. It is the national pass time.

Once in high school we were eating dinner and I got up to get seconds. My grandma said “I hope your boyfriend like chubbies.”

Moms are neg ninjas.

My mom, picking me up from college one year: Have you gained weight, or is it just your new haircut?