Uh oh, did we go to high school together?

My womb IRL:

Always remember the Lord cares about the content of your uterus more than he cares about the lives of children starving all over the world.

Socialist Muslim teachers who use Common Core to brainwash ObamaCare-vaccinated children into joining ISIS in Benghazi.

Definitely the socialism imposed by the free birth control for Obamacare sluts. #Benghazi #JadeHelm

Omg so this is really all my fault. I can’t even get pregnant to get an abortion! I have a lot of soul searching to do. I’m causing droughts all over the fucking place.

I think it’s because women are not subservient enough to their husbands. Also, Jews!

We don’t hate the gays enough. I’m all up in this red state makin’ it purple!

Can somebody please just shoot me into fucking space.

So what’s causes droughts in red states then? Muslims? Socialism? Common Core? ObamaCare? ISIS?

Nor can you disprove my theory that she is an agent of Satan sent to manipulate us into thinking that we’re being punished by God so that we’ll do something real dumb to get back in His good graces.

Shannon Grove’s google search history: “How is babby made? Is rain god tears? Do babbys fall from clouds?”

At first I was like “nice manpris” then I was like “ wait is he wearing Mary Janes?”

No Goldblum, no FeministKittenjoy

like this?

Whether it’s a parody or not, what’s important is that you’re drunk watching it.

I’m having a very David at the Dentist moment right now.

The wood glue used to affix those carefully-dyed pubes to his skin is certainly high quality.

And here I always thought that the Playboy mansion was the kind of place where you could just go to chill out and really get to know people for who they are. A compassionate place where you could escape the glossy veneer of fame and fortune. You know, just folks being folks.