Well, that’s shit.  Write to your Senator.  Channel your Inner Karen and you demand satisfaction, goddamnit!

And nothing’s stopping you from telling someone to go take a flying fuck to themselves if they demand a kiss.  Clearly the authoress of this joyless queef of writing lacks a spine.

Or just HAIL SEITAN and get it over and done with. 

Your daily reminder that just because your ancestors were kicked out of one country doesn’t make you an actual resident of said-country. Waddlers would do well to remember that. (Ah, the amount of times I’ve had the joy of telling some neckbeard that, no, they’re not descended from William Wallace as the fuckwit…

*sips tea*

How the fuck did you get footage from inside Elon’s rejuvenation lair?  

“Much like your conception, my gift to you was an afterthought.  Be grateful both events didn’t cause regret.”

When the boyfriend and I started dating, he bought me a nakiri. Wonderful thing. I’ve used it plenty of times to threaten him over the years (tried it once on the cat. The cat then yawned at me and pissed on my laptop. That was me told) but it was the thought that counted. I bought him a wok (we’d known each other for…

Audra’s just pissed because she looks to be in her mid-thirties and knows her chance with Leo is further gone than her professional chances of success. We should feel pity for her. I think I’ve got some second-hand pity...

*murmurs in a tone equal to a 50s housewife spreading scandalous gossip*

Word of advice to Hattie - if you’re going to be silly enough to give a link to a BBC story, you might want to be aware that the BBC will (if the “crime” has been committed on British soil) include a full statement from the accused.

I’d banish her to the Phantom Zone. She plays the same fucking basic non-entity character in every single fucking thing she’s in. She’s playing herself and not in a sexy-times way!

Kerrygold is seen as one of the cheaper, lower-quality brands here in the UK. I’ll just usually buy a supermarket’s own-brand block but if I’m cooking something for someone else and want to make them feel special (the fact I’m letting them live should persuade them of that particular illusion...) I’ll go for something…

*bitchy Gay Scottish Slag mode activated upon scenting blood*

Agreed.  His attitude, whilst White Gay Basic Bitch in tone and (failed) execution, is pure Yank-On-A-Rope.

As a Brit raised on Kate Bush, it pissed me off as well to read stuff online about people listening to her stuff for the first time and the fanbois going “oh you only like her because of Stranger Things.”

I’m sorry...they cut Ana de Armas from the film? No wonder that film sucked donkeyballs. You do not cut the actress my granny refers to as “that adorable wee Cuban lassie” from a film and expect it to do well. My granny might just have to cut a bitch up for that crime against humanity. Also - they cut de Armas and,…

A lot of whiny-types are moaning about the resurgence of 90s/00s types of music but I have to say it’s been mostly fabulous. Especially the club stuff, sorry, “EDM” for the Basics. What I love about a lot of the artists and groups/collaborations releasing stuff recently is that they’re applying not so much a polish to…

Have you thought about getting one of those US flags but in Pride colours and wearing it like a cloak?  I’m sure he’s got a gimp mask you borrow...

An Animatrix-style spin off?!??!