No doubt the shit-smear planned an attack for that day.  Too fucking coincidental.

Oh dear, Netflix. You should aim a little lower in your aspirations at taking on Amazon’s Tolkien juggernaut and, given the predilection for sticking to current fads, you might want to aim for a more recent book series to adapt.

No, Susan did what a lot of Millennials don’t want to do and grew up.

So, the thing I loved about this episode wasn’t so much the Charles and Diana melodrama but the little vignettes and snippets of the other couples lives (my personal favourite was the woman who wanted to divorce her husband because she hardly sees him due to his job). My partner pointed out that the law (at least, in…

Oh no, after the divorce she changed her hair. Don’t forget: you’re seeing the same sort of contrived image bullshit that we’re seeing with Kate Middleton.

Aaaaaaaah....alcopops. The scourge of the right-wing British media in the 1990s. The big one for years at my school was Hooch, a somewhat oddly cleaning-fluid-flavoured drink that was popular amongst the hipster set in my year. It was stronger than Smirnoff Ice (which didn’t come onto the scene until 1999) and it was…

It is very “Late 2000s International Male”, isn’t it? Bet that wizened fool’s got this in his closet. Probably thinks it makes him look fancy.

Wait - so the guy destroys the cheque, thus rendering it worthless (and given that it’s Germany it would have been impossible for him to cash the cheque in the first place), Haribo sends him some treats as a thank-you and...and you’re whining about it? Do you need to speak to their manager? Personally, I’d have sent…

I wish you’d included a map of Spain - more importantly, where this dam is - to highlight something else that’s cause for concern.

Well, in that case I’ll pray for their and their children’s sterility.

We have a solicitor here in Scotland who specialises in taking on cases where everyone knows that he’ll lose.  The only reason he takes them on is because he knows he’ll get paid handsomely for his services and, whoops apocalypse, there’s little chance of the convicted getting their money back - even if they get one…

Let this be a lesson to all you Millennial Girlboss shit-wits: don’t be a con artist, don’t engage in corporate MLM, don’t adopt a clearly-hilarious deep voice and whatever you do, if you do get pulled into court, don’t think that suddenly appearing in a “feminine” hairstyle’ll make the judge more lenient on your…

Today we learned that you, missycakes, are extremely thirsty.  Begone, brazen hussy!

We won’t get to see Meghan Markle in the next series, I’m afraid. We’ve already taken a few pot-shots at Wallis Simpson Mk2.

Chuckle? Darling, I practically screeched with laughter when she popped up!

Tis the British way of saying it.  We only add the extra vowels and consonants (please, Carol) to confuse the fuck out of interlopers.

In her defence, that’s a Nokia Communicator. Those things were weird. Not as weird as the Nokia NGage (or Taco Phone), but weird nonetheless.  

*clutches Palumbo’s love-beads, er, pearls*  Le gasp!

I do believe she won or co-won a Grammy for her work on the utterly-stellar When Love Takes Over by David Guetta. It’s a powerhouse of a song and Rowland’s vocals make it a powerhouse. It was insanely popular in 2009 (seriously, you couldn’t go into a bar in Spain, France or Italy without hearing it blaring). It…

So I come from the better part of the UK (Scotland, to be exact) and we’ve got some pretty easy foodstuffs when it comes to pronouncing it - haggis is, well, haggis. Cullen Skink is, well, you guessed it - cullen and skink. And so on. There is, however, a remarkably tasty (and impossibly simple to make) dessert in…