Where have I heard this before? Wait, has anyone checked out the local Kia dealership’s trade-in log?

My brand new 2018 Ford Fusion came WITHOUT rear floor mats.  WTF is up with that? I called the dealership when I got home, assuming that the kid who shined up the car prior to delivery just forgot to put them back in.  Nope, not included.  Anyways, the exceedingly expensive set of WeatherTech mats arrived over the…

What a fucking idiot.  Hot exhaust catches grass on fire.  So he backs up to set more grass on fire, then just stands there like a fucking fool.  If he simply positioned his car back on the shoulder and hit the burning spot with his extinguisher this all would have been avoided.

The alternative allows you to down a few more beers while loading the boat onto the trailer before driving your family home, drunk, with a 6,000 lb payload attached to the back of your truck.

Yes, more articles like this: https://www.nytimes.com/2018/07/20/us/duck-boat-branson-accident.html

All made by Whirlpool

What you’re describing is the difference between civil engineering (buildings, bridges, dams, and the like) and mechanical engineering (machines, HVAC, fluid systems, vehicles, and the like).

Wonder if one of these would fit in a Roxor...

I’m getting your vibe, David.

My parents had an ‘85 Delta 88 Coupe which I drove around for a couple of weeks before they gave me the old Newport.

You betcha. Although I suppose if you put one of these head-on into a modern Chrysler 300, both would come out pretty bad. The driver of the modern one would probably be in much better shape. Reference the 1959 Bel Air vs. 2009 Malibu crash test by the IIHS.  My Newport was a 4-door hardtop, meaning it had only half…

I used the back bumpers of K-cars, Chevy Corsicas, Mercury Tempos, and the like to keep my front bumper shiny and bug-free as we were jockeying for position to exit the high school student parking lot.

My first car, a 1972 Chrysler Newport, had an entire front end made of thick, chromed, steel bumper. Hitting things lightly with it simply left a shiny spot in the chrome. (Stock photos)

Absolutely there is danger in controlling something as heavy as a boat with a mobility scooter. It was just that the author’s comment struck me as odd, and it is one I see/hear on occasion from others. Pretty much anything can tow anything under the right conditions. Towing safely is a different story.

“I didn’t even know you could tow anything with a mobility scooter, but apparently it’s quite possible.”

And “Final Processing Country: Scotland”

Total CP. You can get a used/similar mileage 301hp V6 Camry for $5k less, and spend half of your savings on a vinyl wrap to make it look like a Camaro.

I used to love going through the automatic car wash in my 1975 Chrysler Newport with the A/C on max and watching a huge bubble get blown as air leaked out around the triangular vent window.  I’m a cheap date, I guess...

So you don’t get bored and have to downshift every time you approach a slight incline or encounter a 5mph headwind.

The other authors used to use a #tractorlopnik tag starting with Ben Wojdyla in 2009: https://jalopnik.com/search?q=tractorlopnik