Amphicar. Made in Germany. “Walks” on water. Can baptize from the driver’s seat. Can’t find one for under $10K though.

The 1960's Briggs & Stratton equipped K-Mart brand mower that I used as a kid to mulch small toads and grasshoppers with reckless abandon had this sweet wind-up starter mechanism:

and press the primer bulb 50 times...only to remember you didn’t turn the fuel on...

I don’t watch sports, but I always wondered what happened when you suddenly needed to take a shit in the middle of the game. I was kind of hoping the ‘tent’ was a shittin’-shed (copyright pending).

I had to dig deep to find the comparison image I sent Ray Wert back in 2006 when Jalopnik was contemplating the terribleness of the new Jeep Compass. I always thought it looked like a Pacer:

The Canadian comedian, Red Green, once said, “There are only two things a man truly needs that come into his life only once: true love.... and a good used cop car...”

I sure hope he is using a calibrated tape measure to check those diagonals. Just because you can fix it, doesn’t mean you should. This is why we have laws in the US that would total this car. The pillars have all been tweaked. Simply bending them back into position by raising the roof would not be enough for me!

I used to work at the US Army Tank Automotive R&D Center. The Maneuver Center of Excellence has been crying for something like this for some time.

Simple solution. Everyone get a tank. No fuel economy standards on those. Plus defense crisis solved!

But Trump’s base thrives on the shiny and sparkling short term return. Damn the future.

Emissions standards! Terrible, just terrible. I will remove them! Good idea, great idea, okay? Very smart. The EPA, it’s a lie, liar! I’ll negotiate a better deal, the best deal, a better deal than has ever been negotiated before, the best. I alone will fix it.

Hudson Hornet: Old, wise, firm but just

Closing my eyes while listening to this rant, and all I see is Ricky.

The Almighty Cougar! I was in one of those with all four wheels off the ground which resulted in the front axle breaking in half. Rushing heavily armored vehicles into production to satisfy a urgent battlefield need does have its drawbacks.

Try this one: https://rumble.com/v30q1n-harpoon-car.html?mref=7izv&mc=by4c2

Jeep J-10:

For that, you just need ‘The Tombstone’ (NSFW language):

Alternatively, they could take Jim Carrey’s advice:

This looks like a better implementation of a similar concept: The SQUID: http://www.popsci.com/cars/article/2009-03/drag-net