How many phone books is Maisie sitting on?

Not a fucking chance.

One nice thing about pre-season games (at least in Pittsburgh) is that they’re covered by KDKA and have WAY fewer commercials.

Baby-bragging is another no-no. Nobody wants to hear that your baby is sooooo perfect in every way when they’ve been up for 48 hours with colic.

I use the mnemonic, “there should never be cum in your vacuum.”

Yeah, there’s only one c in vaccuum. vaccum. vaccccuum....FUCK!

You shut your Frenchie mouth!

liaison. That second i is the devil.

Bush I was a pilot in WWII, director of the CIA, and captain of the Yale baseball team.

I give a shit because when I watch a hockey game on NBC Sports, I know to think the opposite of whatever horseshit he’s going to spew.

Wow, that is one hell of an interesting question. If I had to guess at the male Trump voters among major American sports (from highest % to lowest), it’d be:

I could see people briefly looking at the game while getting some wings or something at the bar, but saying that anyone “watched it” is a stretch.

Multiple comments mocking the whole “Is Flacco elite?” debate. Guys, that was settled years ago.

The Steelers scored three touchdowns in the fourth quarter to eliminate you.

So I was looking at wiki pages for some more of the “notable” Illini players and found out that Rashard Mendenhall is a writer for the show Ballers and Simeon Rice directed a movie that saw limited release a couple years back. The LA Times writer thought he showed promise as a director. Huh.

Don’t blame me, I didn’t vote for this shit team.

It was supposedly Iowa when I was there, but by then that rivalry had gone away. All rivalries had gone away.

My first college game as a freshman, I got hired by the TV crew to hold a parabolic mic on the field. I was like right up front and got to watch my team get utterly destroyed by USC, 55-3.

....nope.

Or just go get another cat that looks like it.